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How to Thrive in Corporate America Episode Transcript

00:00 - Damaris (Host)

What if your company's on that? We're a family and you don't fall for the banana in the tailpipe? Right Don't don't think for a second. They won't let you go if they need to. You don't do that to family.

00:13 - Nachi (Host)

Right, because then you end up having this false sense of loyalty, right. Welcome to another episode of I'm Not Yellin I'm Dominican podcast hosted by Nachi and Damaris. Hey, fam, it's your girl, nachi, and I'm here with Damaris, also known as the president of Damaris' fan club, of course.

00:46

Hello, talk about. I'm not only the president, I'm also the client. All of the above, all of the above, oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. So we're just so glad that you guys are back with us for another episode. We're going to talk about how to thrive while being Black in corporate America. I know we all know how it is being Black in the corporate world, and it's not always easy. So, damaris and I, we're going to go through the top 10 things we should be doing to thrive in this type of environment. So let's get into it.

01:27 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, I'm so excited, right, Because you know we talk about top 10 tips to thrive in a corporate setting and you know, while we're giving it to you from the perspective of Black women, of Black women, I think a lot of what we share today can be used by any gender, as well as any race, but I think it's going to resonate most with people that look like us, because there are just certain things that we've included on this list that really are things that I just felt like I dealt with directly, and same for Nachi, and so for a good bulk of my career was in corporate and I was successful in it. I thrived, I moved up the ranks, but as I started to have my spiritual awakening, there was towards the end, it didn't end so nicely for me, and that was, and that had a lot to do with the fact that corporate life no longer aligned with my life, and when the creator and or the universe, or whatever you want to call it, determines that this season is over for you, this no longer serves you. Shit just goes left, and that's how it over for you. This no longer serves you. Shit just goes left, and that's how it was for me, and it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me and I've never looked back and I look, I continue to look forward. As a matter of fact, I don't even look forward, I'm just present in my current flow and I love it.

03:00

But for people that are still in this corporate space and there's a lot of us and for some it's a means to an end. For others, they really enjoy this life. More power to you. You know I want us to be successful and I don't want us just to survive, but really, I think when we approached this list, it was about how do we thrive in this type of environment? And I think your homework at the end of this is really to determine look, is this for you? Because I think you know people struggle when it doesn't work for you that kind of life, and so, again, a time to be reflective. And if this is your path, great. I hope you take these tips and that they mean something to you and you can use them for your own trajectory and your journey in corporate life.

03:48

So let's get right into it, starting with number 10. And for me, this was huge and this is do not engage in office gossip, right? It honestly just ends up reflecting poorly on you. It honestly just ends up reflecting poorly on you, and especially if not only you contribute a lot to the gossip, but you mainly interact with those that are gossipy folks in the office and they're known for that, and so you're that bird that you flock together. This can have a negative impact on your career trajectory because people are going to associate you with that and I think and you need to be mindful of that because people are watching and they're going to be tracking who does the gossiping and observe, and I would encourage people to look at who actually does the gossiping in your office and observe their career path. Have they been stuck, you know?

04:48

and I would be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that people say oh, you know, nine out of the 10 people that I know that are like this really don't move.

04:59 - Nachi (Host)

Right, right, yeah, I never like now. I like to hear gossip, right, because tell me something but I'm not one to share it, like it doesn't go beyond my ears.

05:12

And just to you know what you were saying. It does look poorly on you and you don't want other people, you don't want your name, to be pulled into any conversation that's being had. Oh well, you know not. She said or I heard this from that. No, you ain't heard shit from me. I didn't say anything to you, and you know, and it's about just like keeping yourself out of that. Now again, I've been in in, I've worked in corporations where the whole the culture was just gossipy. It almost felt like I was in a college dorm and it just again great to know what's going on. But it becomes very toxic, toxic, and of course you are not able to thrive in an environment like that. Like I remember one place, you know this person. As he left the company sent a mass email about all the stuff that was going on and I was just like, oh my goodness, talk bridges.

06:24 - Damaris (Host)

Right, and then do you want to be known as the person that was always hanging out with Sam?

06:29 - Nachi (Host)

Right, exactly, exactly. So yeah, like not engaging in the office gossip is not the way to go. But again, it's okay to listen and hear, yeah, and don't be around. Like Tamara said, don't be around if there's like a group of people or a set person that's just constantly gossiping about office stuff or people in the office. It's just best to just not have it go beyond your ears yeah and and again.

07:12 - Damaris (Host)

Only entertain that, but so much, because although you may not be contributing, but if you're always the person that they're going to, you're going to be associated with them, period point point oh yeah, Absolutely yes, that's number 10.

07:26

Number nine Now this one is important, and we've had already two episodes on this topic alone is having boundaries, have boundaries and work at a place that will respect them right. Because for me, my boundary, as I've shared in the past, was really like I leave the office at 5, 5.30, 6 max and I don't do work after that. Do not reach out to me, Do not expect me to reply to emails during my time off or after work, when I'm at home. That's not going to happen. And so obviously you will have to make some exceptions, but they should be minimal, right, Like so, if there was a big project that I'm managing and sometimes we had a late night release, obviously I'm going to have to work past regular working hours, right, but that wasn't a common occurrence, and and so I think so it's important that not only that you have these boundaries, but you communicate them right and you communicate those exceptions, so that it's not so that there's no mistake that don't expect me to do this regularly, and I was always very clear about my communication with that, and in a way that wasn't combative or anything, but it was just like I had good relationships with my managers and they just know not to expect certain things from me and um, and obviously I stayed at that company because they respected those boundaries and if you're at a place that continues to be a habitual line stepper, that you need to get out of there.

09:05 - Nachi (Host)

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes things changes. You know, like, um, with the company that I worked for, I didn't have a problem. You know, before kids, I didn't have a problem. You know, working late whenever it was necessary because I felt like it was a mutual respect of well, it was just, we were both in a place where it's like, if I'm flexible with you, I'll be flexible with you as well. Right, so they were. You know, if I needed to do something like take off or they were. You know, if I needed to do something like take off for half a day or whatever, it wasn't a problem. But if I had to work late, you know, that was done.

09:51

However, after having kids, that had changed. Right, so I had to be very, I had to communicate and be real clear about no I, you know, after five o'clock, you know five o'clock is my, you know, that's it, that's my cutoff, I have to, I have to leave. And the same thing when I would travel, cause I would travel a lot seeing clients, and if it was at a distance, I would let them know, like, listen, by one o'clock, I gotta be out of here, right, right, would let them know like, listen, about one o'clock I gotta be out of here, right, right. And that was always respected because I always communicated that. Yeah, and even when you know my supervisor, she always had an understanding. But I recall one time, uh, this CEO was just like I was supposed to go to some conference, but at the time I was just like I can't because of my children. And he said to her well, can't she just get a babysitter? Or something like that, excuse me. And when she told me that, I was like, does he want to pay for the babysitter?

10:56 - Damaris (Host)

right.

10:56 - Nachi (Host)

Sure we can make that work, right I was just like, yeah, like it's just, it's nothing to get a babysitter. But just going back to you know boundaries. It's like if you're clear about what there are, it you know and you have that relationship with your supervisor and it's respected. Yes, I think you know you can definitely move forward and grow within that organization. But if they're not willing to respect your boundaries and that tells you, that gives you everything that you need to know Exactly.

11:34

Whether or not, you should continue being in this environment or seek something else, because you're not going to be thriving in that, in that type of environment, if they're constantly just crossing boundaries with you.

11:48 - Damaris (Host)

No, no, that's great, Okay. Number eight your company is a team, not a family. So this one I hate when companies are like we're a family, no, we're fucking not. But no, we're not, no, we're not.

12:13 - Nachi (Host)

I'm not going down with the ship as I would with my own people.

12:17 - Damaris (Host)

Hello and real talk. I don't fire my family. Right Exactly.

12:22 - Nachi (Host)

Exactly, I don't give them a one-day notice of okay, you're not coming back tomorrow.

12:27 - Damaris (Host)

yeah, there's no severance package. If you annoy me, you know what I mean. Like so that is crazy. And I had this director of my team one time try to be like oh, we are family. And I was very, I tried very diplomatically to be like actually we're not right, we're a team because, like I said, it's not like you can't fire your family and there's no vice versa, because if the company don't want you anymore, they're like bye, that ain't family. How are you going to cut me off like this?

13:02

yeah, yeah yeah, and I love it because at at the time when this particular director and he was on some we're a family. I'm like, okay, you sound fucking crazy. I had just come across this Harvard business review article about your. Your, the company is not a family, right. It's like a team and I would even say sometimes it can be like a home owners association.

13:29

You're in a gated community and we all have to tend to our lawn, we all need to make sure things are right. We play our position. But a team is a good you know metaphor for also what. What it is because we all contributing to a common goal, right With our sub goals, but it's all pointing towards the higher overall company goal. And so what if your company's on that? We're a family and you don't fall for the banana in?

13:57 - Nachi (Host)

the tailpipe.

13:58 - Damaris (Host)

Don't think for a second. They won't let you go if they need to. You don't do that to family.

14:04 - Nachi (Host)

Right Cause, then you end up having this false sense of loyalty. This is it.

14:08 - Damaris (Host)

And this is why this is if you keep this in mind, you'll continue to thrive and you also won't take things personally.

14:18

Some things are going to work, some things are not, but because I remember when I first started out in corporate life you know, I'm young, I'm just out of college and I remember thinking I think after like a couple of years I hadn't gotten promoted. And when I first got there I was promoted like two times and it was just like because I'm a superstar, because I know I'm great. And so when a few years had passed and I was like, where's my promotion? And it was always some hemming and hawing and it got to the point where I just started looking for another job.

14:52

And I had never really done that because I was treated well and I had a heart to heart with, like, the director of my team at that time and I said he wanted to get all philosophical. He's like Damaris, how are things, are you happy? Hell, no, listen. And when you're in that I don't give a fuck stage. I was not planning on having this discussion with him and I said, as a matter of fact, I'm not happy, I'm actually quite satisfied. Here are the reasons and until something changes, I am currently interviewing. I didn't care. He was like well, I wish you told me something sooner. And I said I did. I did communicate that to my manager at the time, not to him, because he was two levels above.

15:42

And he's like like you know, well, I I wish you had said something again and I said listen, I treat my professional life as I do my personal life. I don't like to repeat myself.

15:55 - Nachi (Host)

I know that's right.

15:56 - Damaris (Host)

I just had to be clear. I'm like, I'm not here to beg for scraps, I'm not here to beg for you to give me what I know is rightfully mine. I know how good I am, oh, and guess what? Oh, so you know, month and a half later because it was at the end of the year when we had this discussion, january miraculously promotion. But I bring this up because up until that time I felt like I was in a family.

16:20

I felt like, oh, this company cares about me, they want to see me grow, and I learned early on in my career that they don't meaning that they want me at my cheapest. It's worth their while not to promote me At some point. They have to, because their hands get tied and they're like, okay, we're going to lose a good. You know, we're going to lose good talent. But they kept me there because I wasn't really making too much noise and they were like, okay, and we're getting the best out of her. But guess what? I was like, nah, I'm interviewing. And I was like and at that, and when he and I had that conversation, I was just like you know cause he said, oh well, when we get back to New York city, cause we were on a business trip.

17:02

He's like you know I'll, I'll talk to whatever, and I was just like that's great. Uh, you can do that. I just understand that I'm going to continue interviewing until something changes.

17:14 - Nachi (Host)

Right, right.

17:16 - Damaris (Host)

Like when you just don't give a fuck. That's just like the best age. To me. It didn't matter and I mean I got what I wanted, but I was uh. It was bittersweet, I'll say, but it was because I had to learn that lesson, and so that's why the whole your company is not your team family, don't fall for the banana, the tailpipe. They're not your family, it's your team, your neighbors. At best. Let's just keep it moving.

17:40 - Nachi (Host)

I had the. I had a opposite um reaction or outcome than you did. When I had told my supervisor at this one company I was working with and I had shared with her, I was just like I'm not happy and I'm interviewing and yada, yada, yada.

18:03 - Damaris (Host)

She was like fantastic, no.

18:07 - Nachi (Host)

The company was going through, like you know, layoffs and stuff. Oh guess who was on the chopping block. So the funny, and again, when you was just like don't give a fuck attitude, I had that attitude and I already knew, because I had a friend that was laid off like months prior and they had gave her a package, you know like they gave her a termination date but they let her go much earlier and still got paid during that time up until her quote, unquote termination date where she would receive, you know, her package and so so I knew this was available and I was just like, all right, well, if you're going to lay me off, then I want to. I want this to be effective remedial. I still want to get paid up until my termination date. And she was just like, well, I can't do that. And I was just like, yes, I can't do that. And I was just like, yes, you can because yeah, you can, don't play with me and she was trying to give me all these excuses.

19:10

I was like all right, okay, this bitch is really playing in my face. So I said I'm going to close out all my cases and since you want me physically here, I will be physically here, but I will not be working. So I would come there whenever the I got in, got my little newspaper. You know, it was back in the day when you bought a newspaper You're so old, I know, read my magazine and my coworkers were just like dying because they were like yo, you are tripping.

19:47 - Damaris (Host)

I was like no, because I told them Well, they're stupid, right, like why would they keep you on if you have a termination date, right?

19:54 - Nachi (Host)

And that lasted literally about like three days, three, four days.

19:58 - Damaris (Host)

They were like oh, second thought, please leave.

20:00 - Nachi (Host)

She was like, yeah, we'll give you your package and pay you for the remaining weeks up until your termination date.

20:09 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, you will.

20:10 - Nachi (Host)

I was like great, and you know she wanted to be like oh, you know this was not personal. I was like oh, you know she wanted to be like oh, you know this was not personal. I was like oh, I didn't take this personal, I just wanted to be let go immediately. I'm not going to be working for you for another month you sound, you y'all sound crazy.

20:27

I was like no, if you don't let me go, let me go. I need my money because I know y'all can do that. Right, you'll thank me later. I'm like no, I won't yeah, okay, bitch that's the type of shit that makes you want to smack somebody just know you again, they're not your family, right, and they can go either way. Go either way, but know that it you know, don't again. I didn't take it personally. I just didn't want to work there because your ass just literally fired me right, right.

21:04 - Damaris (Host)

Why would you be asked to say that I'm?

21:07 - Nachi (Host)

not going to put in for a whole month, but now I gotta look for job. I might as well use that month Right Looking for a job. So, yes, I got a month of paid and then my six-month severance package Right.

21:22 - Damaris (Host)

Idiots. So, moving on to number seven I mean this is no surprise for us. Number seven do not share personal information with colleagues. Nope, listen, I'm so private at work and I will only start opening up to you after we are no longer working together and if we still remain friends outside of being work friends and I do have a few good people, uh, that I still keep in touch with and have a friendship with that to this day.

21:57

But the reality is it's like Miranda writes things you say or do can be used against you in a court of law or, in this case, hr or your manager. So be mindful about what you share with your peers, your managers. Again, obviously, obviously you're going to have to share things like you know, like your child situation. You're like, ok, I can't do X, y, z for this, or if you're asking for medical leave because you're taking care of a parent or a sick child, like those are things obviously you have to share from a personal perspective. But everything else that has nothing to do with your day-to-day at work, do not share.

22:37

I not even with your quote, work friends, because you don't know because I just feel like you don't know these people well enough still to know if you can trust them. Like I said, those that are still my friends, those are people that, yes, I can say I trust. But that wasn't overnight, that wasn't like cause they were all nice to me while I was working in corporate. No, those that was years of development of a relationship. But if you're just coming in, and even if you haven't been just coming in, but if you're not friends with these people like that, like why are you doing this? Like keep church and state separate. Yes, yes.

23:19 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, yeah. It's best not to bring your personal life into work. It just it doesn't work, because then they start looking at you as someone who may not be capable of handling work situation, because you have some personal stuff going on.

23:39 - Damaris (Host)

It's like when companies are now trying to look at your credit report. What the fuck does that have to do with how I work? They're like I don't know. Did you pay all of your credit cards on time?

23:48 - Nachi (Host)

What? Why do you care? You think I'm going to embezzle money from you.

23:52 - Damaris (Host)

I'm not going to show up to work because I didn't do a minimum payment. I missed one. I don't know. That to me is just crazy. So that's why just keep your personal life at a minimum.

24:04 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah.

24:05 - Damaris (Host)

That's it, okay. Number six Don't believe you have to constantly go out with your coworkers. But, yes, but, but. But. There's a but. You do have to show your face on occasion. You just don't have to do it constantly Like, make your appearance, make your appearances Right and, for the love of God, stick to one drink, max two. These are work people. These are not your friends. These are work people. Please honestly show up, be there for like the first hour, whatever you know, talk to people, have your drink and then get out, exit stage, left you know, and just like oh, I have to go. If you don't have plans, make up, make up plans. Say that I personally always had plans because we grew up in New York City so I had a network of friends.

24:59

I wasn't a transplant it wasn't just like work, yeah, and like I know for some people that are transplants, you know they don't have as many friends but they start to build out their friendships. But I had things to do, like I'm busy trying to go to a nightclub on a Monday, so so I need to go home so I can get ready, so I can't be out here all day with y'all.

25:17 - Nachi (Host)

Right, right, having a drink.

25:19 - Damaris (Host)

Because Sunday through Thursday are the best nights to go out of New York City. You know, if you know, you know.

25:24 - Nachi (Host)

But in any case.

25:25 - Damaris (Host)

I'm just saying that, no, you don't need to show up for everything, but you do need to show your face and I'm sorry introverts, I know there's a lot of y'all out there like that and I hope that it doesn't impact your life, but usually it just does. Unfortunately, that's the reality, because it it really. It shows that you're a team player and you're not a work robot.

25:52 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, yeah.

25:53 - Damaris (Host)

And they get to see another side of you, a sliver of your personality. Again, it's what you want to show them. And for me, because I was already naturally private, it was still my salesman phase. Right, it's still my code switching phase, Like, yeah, I'm not going to say what I really think and also I'm not going to be saying all the crazy shit that I would be saying to my own girls from the Bronx.

26:19 - Nachi (Host)

You know what I?

26:19 - Damaris (Host)

mean, but it's par for the course and you know this. This kind of leads me into the next one, number five be a team player yeah, that's always good, which means it's it's important.

26:33

Yes, which means being flexible, right, being open to new ideas, being willing to share outside of your immediate group or with your colleagues, whatever that sharing looks like, but it's at a level of being flexible and that's why when you do go out to these work events, it just shows that, okay, you know it's camaraderie and I enjoyed. This is not to say that I didn't enjoy the work events. I did because it's like, okay, we get to let our hair down and you know, just just chill, have a drink. But I knew there was an end in sight and I and this wasn't the highlight of my life, right. But even if it is the highlight of your life, no judgment, I'm just saying be a team player.

27:19

Don't be so rigid in how things need to work, especially when you're trying to be a team player. Be the person that people want to work with. That goes such a long way. Work with that goes such a long way, because it's like, if you're, especially as there are like these peer reviews and when your manager wants to hear back from other people that you've worked with outside of the department, the feedback the more positive, obviously, the better. Like, oh no, damaris is great to work with, she's so easy. She was very helpful, she, you know. And again, this is not to be like you're going to sacrifice your work for someone else. No, it's just. Again, I was operating at a capacity of 75 and that was, like a lot of people's, 150. So it was cake for me to do a little bit extra. That's just gravy on top. Oh, let me hit you off with some of you know my expertise, you know what I mean.

28:22 - Nachi (Host)

So, yeah, yeah, they definitely want to see that you can collaborate with others. They they look for that because if you, if you're able to work with other people, then when there are other positions that come up, they'll think about that. They'll think about how you work with others, not just, you know, with your supervisor or your direct. You know coworkers that you have to work with on day in and day out, but how do you work with cross-functional teams? So you know, being a team player is very important.

28:55 - Damaris (Host)

Okay, Number four and this kind of again piggybacks off number five, be open to change, because there's always going to be change. I went through so many org changes. One minute my group is under sales, the next is under marketing, back to sales. Then it's merged, then it's separated. It's par for the course. And what I did was I just navigated, I flowed with it. I wasn't rigid, I'm like Buddha. I was like okay, well, we swing into the lab, I'll swing into the lab with you.

29:34 - Nachi (Host)

We'll see where we where we go yes, you need to be able to pivot.

29:37 - Damaris (Host)

I mean like don't get stuck in, yes, and like it has to be this way, you know like no so rigid, and because it's going to be a matter of you either sink or you swim which one is it? Yep exactly you're sinking or swimming, and you need to be flexible with change because it will happen. Your, your group, your organization is not going to stay the same throughout your entire time, throughout your tenure at this company, especially depending on like what industry you're in. Tech is always like changing right.

30:13 - Nachi (Host)

Right, yeah.

30:14 - Damaris (Host)

You know, financial services probably less so, but even still in its need to keep up with the times. There's been a lot more changes lately. So, yes, be open to change, because it's going to be there, I mean, and that's honestly life if you think about it.

30:31 - Nachi (Host)

That is. That is, if you can't navigate life period, you most certainly not going to be able to navigate your work life.

30:40 - Damaris (Host)

Listen, listen, okay. Number three get a corporate mentor. Now, the mentor, as we see it, is having that person that'll help you navigate the company culture, right, helping you look out for the gotchas, right, that that have not worked out for other people you. That is how I found mentors to be useful and that you know, really just like helping you understand the lay of the land and helping you navigate within that space, which really leads into number two, and it's finding a corporate sponsor. Now, some people may be like, well, what's a sponsor versus a mentor? Right? A mentor is like what I just shared with you someone that's going to help you navigate the culture setting. You know corporate life, you know. So usually your mentor is going to be someone either that is similar to you but like in a higher position, because you know it could be. For me, as a black woman, I see another black woman as an, as a senior officer. Even if she's not in my line of business, she can still share with me things that I need to consider or whatever. A sponsor really is the person that has access to rooms that you don't and will be able to advocate for you and has the power to advocate and make change for you on your trajectory, on your career path Meaning. And that's why there's a separation of mentors versus sponsors, because not all mentors have either influence over your specific path career path influence over your specific path, career path or right. So they may not have, you know, the power to really talk to certain people that have the power to move you up on the ladder or you know, they're just not in that position, whereas a sponsor is someone that has the capacity to influence your career path.

32:55

And there's a book that, when I was in corporate, this woman came in and she spoke about the career sponsor.

33:02

It was something that I had never really considered but I always looked at as my corporate fairy godparents, because there were people in my corporate life that actually were sponsors, but I didn't have a label for that and I was like, oh, because with mentors, you meet with them regularly, you have chats with them, with sponsors, not really right. And so this woman, she came in to speak at our office and her name is or actually, I forgot the name, her name but her book is Find a Sponsor the New Way to Fast Track your Career. The book is going to be in the notes and a link to it from the notes. But, needless to say, like in my experience, when I first started, I was a temp at my company and I was a temp, like in this fixed income department. And I was a temp because I was fixed income department and I was a temp because I was trying to figure out where I wanted to go with my, with my job or whatever.

34:00 - Nachi (Host)

And.

34:00 - Damaris (Host)

I was reporting into the office manager at the time and she reported directly to the head of the fixed income guy and he was a senior vice president at the time and they wanted me to stay. Why? Because they saw how smart I was and how much potential I had and that I was. I had a high emotional intelligence quotient. So they're like do you want to stay in this department? Cause I was helping, I was doing work for the high yield analysts, you know all this stuff. But it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to go into marketing and I wanted it to be in the digital space. And in a few months there was an opening, an entry-level position, open, and so I went for it and I had heard that, yes, the SVP had. I was under the impression that he had went to the woman that I interviewed with and he recommended me. Right, he gave me a strong recommendation and I was touched. I was like, oh, thank you Again. He wasn't my mentor, but he was a sponsor, because the woman that reports into him.

35:03

She was like a mentor in a sense of like. Okay, she was like she had my back throughout and she talked me up to him. And you know, meanwhile I was just, I was always just cordial and nice. I'm like hi, bye, how are you Right? Right, no, he went to bat for me. Fast forward, years later I'm at a happy hour thing for the company and, like he and I, we continued to maintain a very good friendship throughout Because that was my boy right, because I'm like no, you looked out for me when I first started out. I told him the story. I was like you know, I can't thank you enough for your recommendation. To the woman that was the head of digital at that time, he said recommendation, there was no recommendation. I told her that she needed to hire you.

35:58

I told her, and that was that he had the power, the influence he's in rooms that I had no access to.

36:07 - Nachi (Host)

Right right.

36:08 - Damaris (Host)

And neither would. And again, I wouldn't even call the woman who was the office manager a mentor of mine, but if she was even close to that, she didn't have that power.

36:18 - Nachi (Host)

Right.

36:18 - Damaris (Host)

So that is the difference between a mentor and a sponsor. And again, fast forward. Years later I was. There was a new director of my group I'm in digital and it was a new person. He was feeble-minded. And so there was a new role in my group that I should have naturally been promoted to. I wasn't. This was getting towards the end of my time there and shit just wasn't. You know, that was when the beginning of the end, and I didn't. It wasn't offered to me the way I expected it to. It was like oh, you have to interview. I was like interview, right.

36:58

Because, I know there was some companies that you have to interview for roles, even though that you know. But at my company you didn't necessarily have to do that. So I'm like, ok, so now y'all want to switch this up on me? Ok, whatever. I almost didn't, but I said let me not cut my nose to spite my face.

37:15 - Nachi (Host)

Right right.

37:17 - Damaris (Host)

I was like I'm going to do this, but at that time I had a good relationship with the CMO. But at that time I had a good relationship with the CMO and she and I had a talk and I said, you know, I'm just going to let you know that I'm going to throw my hat in the ring, even though it should be mine. And she was just like Damaris, I know she said first of all, she was like well, she was like, I know she said you have my full support, you have my support. From the corner, ie corner office bitches, I'm like, yeah, she said you have my full support, fast forward. I know that he didn't have the interview process that he wanted to with me. I think he wanted to go about it a different way. So he was empowered by going about, you know, by interviewing me. But at the end of the day, there were people above him that would have only approved one person in that role.

38:13 - Nachi (Host)

Right, and that was me.

38:18 - Damaris (Host)

And that was me. So again, sponsor, she's like, I got your back from this corner office. Done, she's like just play your part, just play your part.

38:28 - Nachi (Host)

Right right.

38:30 - Damaris (Host)

Just stop it, just pretend, just go through the motions.

38:33 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, this is yours, you know relax.

38:42 - Damaris (Host)

She's like you know, here's the alley-oop. You know, and I'm like okay fine, okay fine, but that is.

38:48

It goes a long way to have a mentor. I mean to have a sponsor, to have both. But a sponsor really helps you throughout your career. And I'll say this just a quick bonus. This is not number one, but a quick bonus is do not be petty Like. Provide constructive feedback when you need to, if you ask, even if it's about someone that you don't really like or you really don't respect. You see, I've not dropped any names.

39:21 - Nachi (Host)

Right.

39:23 - Damaris (Host)

That's an example of not being petty Right.

39:24 - Nachi (Host)

That's an example of me not being petty. That would have been petty Right, that would have been petty. I didn't say years, anything. I mean we like to be petty every now and then.

39:33 - Damaris (Host)

Every now and then we like to be petty we're queens of petty, because our father was the king of petty. He was the king, king of petty. But yeah, yeah, don't be petty. You know, if you're being asked to like provide feedback, do it in the most diplomatic way, like, just because it's, it doesn't reflect well on you, it honestly doesn't. And stop thinking that everybody's your friend and they're like, hey, no, they're like, hmm, that bitch is okay, I'm taking notes about I don't know how much I can trust her Right Exactly, you know or how she'll do in meetings when she's asked to say something that may not be nice, like, how do you provide constructive feedback?

40:12

or to you know, without being in negative or dismissive or rude or abrasive. Anyway, yeah, but number one, not she. I wish we had a drum roll.

40:30 - Nachi (Host)

What do you think?

40:30 - Damaris (Host)

this is, of course, you know what it is right, I know what it is okay. Do not trust human resources, also known as people operations, talent management, human human capital management all the new bullshit names they have on now.

40:45 - Nachi (Host)

Do not trust human resources aren't they supposed to protect the interest of the employees?

40:54 - Damaris (Host)

that you know full well. This department works. It exists to protect the firm period, point blank, end of story. They are not here on your behalf, they are not your personal attorneys, they're not your public defenders. They are there to represent the company, the interest of the company, with the, you know, with the fake mask of I'm here for you, we work for you, the employees fuck out of here like no, you don't.

41:26

No, you don't. They are not your friend and they do not care about you. And I know all you hr people keep don't even, don't even think about adding me, don't, don't add us, don't't, don't at us, don't at us, don't at us, because we don't care. I'm just sharing from my experience what I've observed, because I love to observe HR. People tend to be the most inappropriate of all employees.

41:57

I've seen them in action, I've heard them. I'm like okay, y'all are wild. Second again, they'll pretend that they're here for you. Like no, we get it, we'll help you figure out a plan to help your unruly employee or help you with your organization structure Bullshit, because I know when I've needed help, they will come up with some bullshit reasons about why they couldn't help me Right, especially towards the end, and I was just like, okay, okay, all right, and so then at that point it was just like I don't really give a fuck about y'all, because you don't care about me, you don't care about giving me the right resources, what I'm asking for the appropriate support. You don't want me to win, you wanted me to fail and I failed in your stupid little space. But it's really not a failure, because I'm always a step up.

42:51

Okay so yeah, so you fucking failed yourself, because I'm actually the best thing y'all ever had. But okay, do not trust them, um, and minimize your interaction with them at all, you know possible right right minimize, minimize, minimize. Do not get on their radar other than promotions that's about it that's it don't go complaining to them about your boss.

43:23

Listen, not you, short of I'm being fondled. This is sexual harassment. It's just a hostile work environment? Of course yes, but then you better have all of your proof. Yes, Because that way all of your proof that you have copied, that you have hard copies of, soft copies of, in case they're like well, you know what, we're going to fire you and you're shut down. No, you have access to all your shit. Do not go up to them without having your stuff backed up.

43:57 - Nachi (Host)

Yes, yes, that is very important.

44:00 - Damaris (Host)

This is why I say you cannot trust them.

44:03 - Nachi (Host)

That is so important.

44:05 - Damaris (Host)

Get at me y'all, but y'all won't, because I'm going to ignore it anyway. Yeah, but that's top 10. And, honestly, and that'll help you thrive in this environment, if this is what you want.

44:21 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, no, I agree, I agree. What you want? Yeah, no, I agree, I agree. I think these are two, ten, ten great um actions that everyone can take and just be mindful of as you're going through your, your journey, your career journey. I mean, we all have different experiences and you know it's just. I think all of this is just key and we've. I mean I definitely like the whole idea of finding a corporate sponsor.

44:51

I think that's I that's why it's number two, because it's really important but yeah, but I never thought about that and I was just like that is a good idea to try to connect with people and identify who those? Yeah, yeah, it sounded like it happened naturally to you, but I wonder how someone can kind of cultivate that and bring that to the forefront.

45:17 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, and that's why I recommend that book because I know she has a little bit more tangible things you can do to create that type of environment. But I mean just thinking about how it happened. Naturally, for me, part of it was because, again, the work that I did always reflected well on my immediate boss and that was how I always moved. Was that I'm doing great work so that my boss looks good?

45:44

I wanted my boss to look good I want to make my boss's life easy, and my managers have always been great cheerleaders for me, for nine out of 10, except for that one that was feeble-minded have always been great managers for me, always been great managers for me. They've you know. So there was no shortage of praising me behind closed doors to their superiors, which then had the ear of those corporate sponsors, Right?

46:12

So it was like my work and that was again the approach that I wanted to take, because I'm like, look, I'm here to make your life easy so that you remember, come performance time at the end of the year and you're thinking about that bonus. You're like that didn't matter.

46:28

And on top of that, I'm going to remind you at the performance review, like all of the great things that I've done you know, and so it was always about, like I need to make my boss look good because it makes me look good, like that's really because, at the end of the day, they're the ones that are responsible for promoting me and also for, you know, giving me the salary increases and my bonuses, and so I think that's how I naturally got into the space of those corporate sponsors that I had in my career early on and later on in life, and I think like that's just an example of how to go about doing that, but I think that book will probably have more ways of how to do that more clearly, which I think, again, the link will be in the notes section, so please look for it.

47:13 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah.

47:13 - Damaris (Host)

I think that will be great. Yeah and yeah, that's why it's top two, Because it's huge and it helped me a lot in my career.

47:24 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, it huge and it helped me a lot in my career.

47:25 - Damaris (Host)

yeah, it's who you know, type of thing yeah, yeah, yeah, it absolutely is, and that they feel confident enough to back oh, yeah, that yes, and the cmo.

47:36

I. I did enough high profile projects and I presented to her and she knew my name enough. That was like okay, no, I know she can handle it, I know she's doing well. I've always presented and she was one that always you know, chanel suits, ferragamo shoes she always looked fantastic. So I always I always look nice too, because my clothes were great and so it was like oh, look like we look at each other like hey other how you doing it's all part of the package, right?

48:05

so she's like no, she is the face that I want to be in that role, so I'm gonna back you for it. Look, if you don't want to play those games, those corporate games, you probably shouldn't be in corporate, because it's all a game, yes, yes, like.

48:17

The reality is like, if you think that, oh, the way you look, how you carry yourself, has shouldn't have anything to do with it, then I think you're living in a fairy fairy world, I don't know like some fantasy land. And congratulations if that works for you. But I know for many people, including myself, it did not Like, and I knew that. So I hope that these 10 tips will help you, that these 10 tips will help you.

48:50

They certainly did, for me while I was in corporate and, again, I think it applied to anyone but for black women. Yeah, it was super. It was super important for my, for my journey, my career path, so I wish you guys all good luck. And, as always, career path. So I wish you guys all good luck. And, as always, we like to close out with. There's a lot of noise out there, but our message is consistent Stop getting distracted by the smoke and mirrors, by the geriatric war that is the election. Tune out the noise. Focus on your divine purpose in lifeibrate higher to elevate your frequency. Stop being low vibrational, because you're going to attract low vibrational shit. And always. Thank you for listening. Love you guys. So, that said, don't forget to subscribe to our channel and follow us on Instagram, tiktok and Twitter at. I'm not yelling underscore and we look forward to talking next time. Bye.