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Interior Design for the Soul Episode Transcript

00:08 - Nachi (Host)

Welcome to another episode of I'm Not Yelling!, I'm Dominican podcast hosted by Nachi and Damaris. Hey everybody, it's your girl, nachi, and I'm here with Damaris, self-proclaimed emotional terrorists and today we're going to talk about dating spaces that matches your spirit.

00:28

I don't know by any of you, but for me my mood shifts when my home is clean or I've done some spring cleaning and decluttered or even brought something new for my home that just brought me some level of joy, and so there's like this euphoric feeling. That's hard to explain, but it's all linked to having a space that speaks to your spirit. And we have the pleasure of having a special guest, julie Jameson, interior decorator extraordinaire. She is gonna chop it up with us about the importance of creating a space that is an extension of yourself, how it's connected to your mental health, and she's gonna share some things you should start doing in your home. So you want to welcome Julie.

01:13 - Julie (Guest)

Thank you for being here but when I found you several years ago.

01:38 - Nachi (Host)

It was during a time I was going through a divorce and I was living in an apartment and it was a transitional home for me, right? So I put no effort into how I wanted it to be. It was just, oh, I'm not staying here for a long, and that very long really was five years but I didn't, I didn't put any effort to it, and so that definitely, when I think back, was reflective of how how I felt mentally and emotionally. And it wasn't until I started following you that I started shifting my perspective and how I used my home, and so I started doing little things to add to it, like putting up pictures and I bought a rug and new bedding and fixing my kids room just to make it homey, and it did shift.

02:31

You know how I felt about my home. So I wanted you to share a little bit about yourself and what you do and what your approach is. But I definitely want to thank you and tell you how much I appreciate you. You know how much I appreciate what you've done and sharing your light with us, so I'm I'm excited to have you here.

02:54 - Julie (Guest)

So please tell us a little bit about yourself, or tell our listeners a little bit about yourself listen, I am, like, so passionate about the way that I do interior decorating because it's not all the same, right you have, and to each their own, right.

03:16

You have decorators out there who just put a space together no, no, like reasoning, no connection to the client, and for me that's the equivalent of home staging.

03:27

You have decorators who decorate with that in mind of, just like, I'm just gonna give you a Pinterest board, you put it together and that's it, whereas my approach is I want you to feel connected to your space. You and your space are one. That's your space is an extension of you, and your space cannot bless you without you, without you being in your space, through the items, through the accessories, through the colors, through the textures right, because you and I are different. Even you and your sister is different, right. You like different things, you're into different colors. You may gravitate towards a certain mood, right, so that should always translate into your space and a lot of times, a lot of us are feeling very disconnected to our spaces because we're not putting that extra time and effort into giving our space the nurturing that it means, because a lot of us are not nurturing ourselves yeah and and which is why I say our spaces are a connection of us.

04:34

They're an extension of who we are. So I like to look at decorating as literally. It's like a getting to know yourself all over again yeah, it is a journey.

04:44 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, it is a journey right like who are you?

04:47 - Julie (Guest)

what do you love? What do you like to do? How do you spend your time? Who do you want to allow into your space? Because for me, my space is super. Like I hold the dear to my heart, I don't just let anybody know you can't have it right, and I don't know if that's just the cancer in me, but I'm very like the same way you know my family, my home, not just anybody's gonna come up in here.

05:12

So if you come up in here, it's because I trust you, you know and I have a connection to you and you're. It's a private space. You're getting to know me through my space because if you really know me and you walk into my space, you see it everywhere right and a lot of times.

05:29 - Nachi (Host)

Another thing that I tend to see is people like to decorate to please other people and it's like for you, or to match a certain aesthetic that they saw on, like you said, and Pinterest or something else, yeah yeah, like a trend or design style that's popular out there, but you know, like you haven't even sat with yourself to see, like, do I really like black?

05:49 - Julie (Guest)

do I really like pink? What are my thoughts of farm, farmhouse? What are my thoughts on movie spaces? Like, am I just jumping on a trend or is this where I really am at the core?

06:00 - Damaris (Host)

right, right, because yeah, no, that's interesting that you say that, because I engaged in interior designer probably like 10 years ago and it was the first time I ever did anything like that. And I did it because my sister and I actually moved into the home that I live in now. We moved into this space together and then she left. She we live together for a few years, then she abandoned me in Virginia I got married.

06:31

Okay, I was starting to say you could have stayed in New York, but anyway, I see the story. So she and I decorated the space together and it was fun. You know. It's like, oh, we did color wash, we painted the walls, we, you know, we, whatever we bought the furniture together. But then, after she left, I had it for a few more years and I was just at the point I was like, oh, like it's time to do something, because I just didn't feel connected any longer to to the space and I wanted to do more with it. I wanted to, I wanted to have a reflect more of me, and I kind of was. I'm great at styling clothes for myself. I'm not great at, like the idea of, you know, styling a whole room or an apartment was just overwhelming to me, because I realize, unlike clothes, I have to be okay with this for the next part of this, for the next five years minimum and if I'm not?

07:32

all of this, so that was like, let me engage in this overhaul makeover.

07:39 - Nachi (Host)

You know it's not yeah, one little thing like I'm just gonna buy a sofa, it's I'm making this whole entire apartment yeah.

07:48 - Damaris (Host)

So it's funny, I interviewed like three designers and I didn't say, oh, I want this. From what I saw, I was just like I was clear about how I wanted to feel and that's how I expressed my objective with them. I said I want to come home to my queendom and I needed to reflect my inner rock star. This is, I said these are the things that I like. This is what I don't like. I said I'm very decisive. I said you just need to show me these things and I'll tell you yes or no.

08:16

I was like I needed to be eclectic. I don't want it to look like one type of style, because that's not me. But and I loved it, it was a fun experience. It probably wasn't as spiritually connected as kind of the approach you take, which I think probably now I'm I would be more ready for than I was back then. But even then, you know, intuitively I already knew. I said I want to feel a certain way when I come into my home, and that was. I wanted to be my queendom, I wanted to reflect my inner rock star, because that's how I feel inside and so, and so that was, um, that was an interesting experience because they were also surprised with me. They were like oh okay, this is what you. I'm like, who do you deal with? And they don't know what they want, right?

09:00 - Julie (Guest)

you'd be surprised, apparently, that's. You'd be surprised that, yeah, you'd be surprised that there's people who are it's kind of like you know, when you get when you like, want this big wedding and you're more in love with the wedding than you're with the marriage.

09:14

It's kind of like that, like you're more in love with the design aspect because you watch all these shows and you're on YouTube or whatever. But the process of going from like before and after it's not. It's not an easy one, because sometimes people are not as forthcoming, like they tell you they want to sign away, but they don't really want to feel that way or they don't even know how the hell they want to feel. They don't even know who the hell they are. Because another aspect that I bring into the way that I do my decorating is I already told you, I'm an astrology no, are we?

09:49

and I love the chakras and all of that. So what's, what's your top three?

09:52

you said cancers, or you said cancer, I'm a cancer son Leo moon and a scorpio rising. So, and then there's so many other aspects of your chart that go into war, right, and a lot of people haven't discovered those areas of themselves yet. But you can get to know a person a lot by the questions you ask them. So sometimes it's about giving them the space that they need, not the space that they want. So it's like you're flustered, you're all over the place. You need a lot of grounding.

10:32 - Damaris (Host)

Your clients or prospective clients, like your approach is. You're already Describing how your approach is different from the typical interior designer or decorator. How would you so? How do you kind of get to that with your perspective clients?

10:46 - Julie (Guest)

It's all through the questions that I asked them, and it's not just the decorating related questions. It's like, okay, where are you in your life right now? Why? Why is it? Why now? Why now do you want to start on this decorating journey? How do you feel now in your space and how do you want to feel moving forward? Or what is not working?

11:06

Because a lot of times people try this on their own and they see just how hard it is, it's not easy, and then you kind of get to know the person. By just their mannerisms. They start at least for me, people tend to open up, just start talking to me. So I'm just listening and I'm taking notes and I'm just like this person seems like this this person seems, and then I'll run through the summary with them. I'm like this is what the vibe I'm getting from you and a lot of the times it's correct and it's like this is how we can balance you out, this is how we can move more towards your north, north node in your chart. You know these are the different ways and you and also being open to it, because sometimes people, people say they want to change.

11:50 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, they get scared.

11:51 - Julie (Guest)

Those are those clients where it's like I don't know about that and I'm like yeah, they have to be open yeah right, you gotta trust me, you gotta be open.

12:01

You have to be trusting because Because we know what we're talking about, we know what we're doing, we're the experts. So you know we understand color, we understand patterns, we understand textures and how everything works together. It's not just one Stand alone piece is how does it work with everything else in the space and how does it then Meet that angle that you're looking for right, of how you want to feel and what you want to see in your space, the vision you have for your space? So there's just so many factors.

12:30 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, it's like some of that fear no, no the fact that they may not own the home, or Because I feel like people who live in a rental are less likely to do different things to their home or spend a whole lot of money in Decorating that particular home because they see it as well. I'm just renting it, so I'm not gonna do much with it, whereas someone who owns your home there might be a little bit more flexible. Do you see that difference, or they're? They're pretty much the same.

13:09 - Julie (Guest)

They're pretty much the same. But then I always tell people like, even if you're renting, most people around- what five or years. That's a long time to be in a when you don't feel good. Think about it. Like a lot of us say, I remember my first apartment.

13:27 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, well, that's how I was in my transitional home. That it was. You know, like I said, I was going through a divorce and I said, okay, this is just temporary, we're gonna find a place and another home, but that's where we set up shop. For a good five years we were in that apartment, yeah.

13:47 - Julie (Guest)

It was and it makes sense, because you just went through this whole shift. Yeah, that's exactly what it yeah you don't want to start over right again. You, you want. You went from this huge transition Right this new chapter that you're in. You're gonna want to settle and set some sort of roots before you move forward.

14:08

I mean that would be the ideal thing to do, unless you're. You know it wouldn't be good to just Russian and move on to the next, especially when you have kids. So it makes sense that you're gonna stay there for a few years.

14:18 - Nachi (Host)

But I was, I was so hesitant and trying to make it. I'm not doing, I'm not buying any extra stuff. This is, this is good for now. This is good for now. But I, like I said I, I felt that shift when I started adding those little elements that I Didn't think was a big deal, but it really was it. Just it was more inviting to me was warm. Okay, let me get to bed.

14:46 - Julie (Guest)

I Just changed my curtains today and I wanted to throw a party. I changed them today and the big one came down the stairs after and I was like, do you not notice anything? And I'm like he's like, but it instantly shifted the mood in the space. I felt better and it was. It was just like a lot of people don't don't realize, like the shift that your mental takes when you switch your environment, when you make it into something that you actually want to spend time, when the action that you want to spend time in that looks beautiful to you, that reflects you to the tee and not everything is the same.

15:45 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, that.

15:48 - Julie (Guest)

Not everything is the same that has everything that you need in order for you to move freely through your space, for you to actually Spend time in your space and not be like, damn, I don't got no place to put my damn cup Because I don't have a side table. Or I don't think I need a coffee table, because why? But it's like I want to read a book but I don't have a lamp, I don't have lighting, I just have the one in the middle of the ceiling and it's like no, like we really have to. I, one of my favorite designers described interior design this way, and I love the way he said it out Alvin I forgot his last name. He says that your space should be a love letter to.

16:27

Yes, oh, wow, I love that and when he said that I was like, yes, that's exactly it. Like, how much are you loving on yourself? And I could tell by your space. Yeah, I Could truly tell by your space, because our home is a gift to ourselves. We're not just living anywhere, right? You're not gonna like live in a messed up neighborhood with your kids. You were specific about where you wanted to live, right? You were specific about the amount of bedrooms, of the layout, of how you wanted it to look, of your tenants, of all of that. So then, why you're not taking care of the inside? Like, we spend a lot of time at home and it should be something that we should be wanting to invest in. We should be wanting to Make it a priority, to make it beautiful. You know, not just, we want to look nice outside with our clothes, right?

17:19 - Nachi (Host)

I'm gonna come into my nice home.

17:20 - Julie (Guest)

You want to look presentable into your hair and all of that.

17:24 - Damaris (Host)

No, all the things, julie, is interesting. How did you get to this point, though, where you when you just knew that, approaching this like you have such a unique perspective and way that you approach this work? And, again, like I said, when you talk to other interior designers, it is not like this. How did you come to this? You know to approach it this way. How did you come to this?

17:47 - Julie (Guest)

It was through my own healing journey. It was through really figuring out the things that made me happy, the things that really lit me up. I've had to do a lot of self-love work because, again, I'm a cancer, so I give, give, give, give. I'm like a big-on family and making sure everybody's okay To my detriment, because I'm always the last one, Boundaries right. Yes, boundaries, I'm the last one you have to keep going.

18:23

I just got to keep going. I cross off. One more thing, I got to do this, I got to do that, and it got to the point that I'm like I'm not happy here. I'm not taking care of myself, I'm not taking care of my home, I'm not taking care of all the things that I love to do. It's just not happening because I'm over here busy taking care of everybody else, and for years my home didn't look the way that I wanted to, and because of my husband, robert, who would always fuck up the house.

18:56 - Nachi (Host)

Doing his own thing.

18:57 - Julie (Guest)

I'm like do his own shit.

19:00 - Damaris (Host)

He said I have some ideas.

19:02 - Julie (Guest)

I'm like, keep your fucking ideas to yourself. Nobody asks you shit. Like, come on, I didn't ask you to share.

19:08 - Nachi (Host)

Now I got to fix this mess you made.

19:12 - Julie (Guest)

Yes, and I'm like I got to fix all this bullshit that you think is cute, Like.

19:17 - Nachi (Host)

I need you to tell us what was the worst thing he's done oh like it's going to make me twist more than one.

19:33 - Julie (Guest)

It is so many that I created a fucking highlight on my IG because I'm like and that didn't even capture all of the shit he's done.

19:43

Like we call him the decor record, the decor record Call him the decor record Okay, the one first one that comes to mind he cut my fucking curtains. He cut my curtains because he said my, the curtains in the kitchen should not touch the floor. So I come home one Sunday morning to make my cafe and I'm like it looks different. Yeah, when I tell you remember the cartoons coming out of people's ears? That was me. I was like he comes down the stairs and said what the fuck Like the neighbors must, everybody must have heard. It was like vibrating. What did you do? And he's like what? And I'm like what the hell did you do to the curtain? It's like, well, they were too long. You should long curtains don't believe in, don't belong in the kitchen. And I was like who told you?

20:43 - Nachi (Host)

that he's like. That makes sense. That's common sense.

20:50 - Julie (Guest)

No, no and no and you still the little frills at the bottom. Of course I wasn't cut.

20:55 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, the frills, and it's not cut evenly you know, it's like if he cut it and he said, oh, and I hemmed it up too. He's just like I'm going to cut it.

21:07 - Julie (Guest)

We do. Well okay, and I took everything and every God in the sky to not put my hands on him. I literally wanted to choke him. That was the first one. Another time I painted the whole, the whole ways. The door is black, this dude. So there was a good idea to paint the back of the door black. And like I was like I don't know. I was like I don't know, I just want to see the black Blacks in the back, okay.

21:39 - Nachi (Host)

There's nothing black in the bathroom, he's like.

21:42 - Julie (Guest)

I want to see this black hole size the vanity, but still there's nothing back. So now when I'm in the bathroom, I feel like I'm in Beetlejuice Right. And then, on top of that, there's a vent in the ceiling, on the ceiling. That he decided that should be black, so he just had one black vent there.

22:02 - Damaris (Host)

That's the most important thing.

22:04 - Julie (Guest)

The ceilings are not black Also you just have this one black vent. Okay, all right, yeah, that makes sense. So, and then, on top of that, he didn't have enough paint for the back of the door. So you see the Right now. So I said to him so you said you were working from home, hey, I'm not actually the pain. And second of all, you're banned from painting because you don't know how to paint. You cannot paint within the line. We've agreed on this. And you still keep trying to paint.

22:41 - Damaris (Host)

So do you just like give him projects that's well outside of your home, just to do something you could just draw on his own and just bring it home.

22:50 - Julie (Guest)

Serious conversation about it. Because I said to myself, robert, in the beginning it was cute, it was funny, it's not funny no more.

22:59 - Damaris (Host)

She said no more, ha ha ha, it's not cute anymore.

23:01 - Julie (Guest)

It's not. No, I'm not laughing, it's not cute, and I had to really sit him down and be like do you know how it makes me feel that I do this for a living and just go ahead and just go, take it upon yourself to make these decorating decisions when you have a decorator in the house and your decisions are not good at all? That's like me going to open the boiler room and just be like what can I do?

23:31 - Nachi (Host)

Wait, let me fix this boiler.

23:32 - Julie (Guest)

I know nothing about that that Robert could just fix on his free time, like what can I do in here that'll give him?

23:39 - Nachi (Host)

work to do. That's what he does.

23:41 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, I was like do you know how that makes me feel? It doesn't feel good, right, and if I feel like shit and I feel disrespected and I don't like it and you need to stop. So I saw like the clouds part and the sun come in. Oh, so that's them moving forward. You are not to touch anything in the house, you are not to bring anything in here, you're not to spray paint, paint, not one thing. School on school, mount, dismount Nothing, spackle Nothing, not one thing, without running it by me first, poor Robert.

24:22 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah, okay, he tried, he tried.

24:25 - Julie (Guest)

No, he tried. She said no, no, not true, no.

24:29 - Nachi (Host)

No, not for you, no, no stay in your lane. Yeah, now you're laying.

24:34 - Julie (Guest)

And so now that he's finally, you know, release the grip that he's had on this like, I guess, second career that he's embarked on. Aspiring interior decorator Aspiring and now I can finally. That's good.

24:52 - Damaris (Host)

You have that freedom now.

24:54 - Nachi (Host)

Look at that, that sigh, that sigh of relief, yeah.

24:59 - Damaris (Host)

You've been and I love. What I love about you the most, too, is that how open you are with discussing, you know, like that whole mental health and and your home environment and the importance and the connection between the two and you. You're very open on your website and on social media, like those times when you're feeling anxious, right, or you're not feeling great. You're not, you know you're, your mood is down and while you're talking through those moments, you also kind of like talk yourself back into, like getting into a good space, and I I appreciate that so much about you because it shows, you know, vulnerability and it's just being honest and transparent, right, Like I G in particular, just social media platforms in general, it's like, oh, you have it. People are always trying to portray this perfect life, but I mean, that's not real right and it's fine if you don't want to post anything, but let's not just always pretend that everything's always gravy, and so I think it's great that you do that and you're able to connect that to your words?

26:04 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, and I feel that we should, because it's not, it's real life.

26:12

Like I'm over here navigating a lot and there's times that I go MIA because I need a moment, like I can't be on this all the time talking like how many times I'm talking about current? Like there came a time where I went in my for like six months because I had to do some. Just get away, yeah, heavy crying, and get away and do a lot of work on myself and do a lot of work on my marriage and do a lot, just a lot. Right, yeah, life thinks that you know some things I share and some things I don't. But it's like, it's real.

26:52

Like you don't always want to show up, but the one thing that the one thing that always keeps me grounded and the one thing that I always go back to is decorating, because I love to work with my hands. When I'm going through a lot mentally, I have to like paint or do something, because I guess it just helps me to release a lot. You know, which is how I got into all of this was like decorating like literally got me out of my depression. Like you know, being able to wake up and be around color and be around things that bring me joy, like because like waking up to white wall.

27:32 - Nachi (Host)

You need life.

27:35 - Damaris (Host)

Add some color.

27:36 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah.

27:38 - Damaris (Host)

Color such a huge thing, yeah, like yeah. Having color and the and the type of color you have can make such a huge difference and just your mood. I know it does for me, and imagine waking up into a room that's like a horrific color every morning, Like I can't as much as, like I know, a lot of people love neutral spaces.

28:00 - Julie (Guest)

That cannot in a neutral space like I need color.

28:04

I need vibrancy, I need to feel color, relax. And there's so many different variations of color like you go bright to go muted, you could go, you know, joule tone, you. There's just so many different variations of a color that you can go with, like not all blacks are the same now. All whites are the same now. I mean, go to the damn pain store and you see it Like, but what is it that makes you feel good, you know, and a lot of times people don't want to have, they don't want to do that work. When it comes to decorating, they're like I just want a pretty space, okay, but how the hell do you think we get to?

28:38

know, I don't just go in there and start painting, shit be like, like it's just this different feel.

28:46 - Nachi (Host)

You might like bright colors, another person may, like you know those moody colors like the dark reds and the dark walls and others. You know, like you know really light pastel kind of colors that they want to put on their walls. It's, it really is just depending on how you feel.

29:04 - Julie (Guest)

So if you don't know who's who else is going to know, and it's about also getting to know yourself, to like who are you at this chap in this chapter of your life? Who are you? Because you know we all grow, we all change, we all evolve and our spaces should evolve with us, because that's how you feel connected to your space and that's how you you feel at home in your space. It's when it reflects who you are. But if you've gone through less days of war so you've had children, like think about it, when people have kids, what do you do? You go by a crib, you by the rocker, you buy all the things right. You have people who get married, moving together and they still haven't decorated, it's like you're quick to decorate.

29:49

When it's like, okay, you have a newborn, yes, you need a crib in it, okay, but you just transitions into this new chapter in your life, whether you're getting married, divorce, separated, whatever it is Is this new chapter that you're going into and your home should reflect that new chapter, because then you're not going to feel connected to your space, you're not going to feel at home, you're not going to feel alive, you're not going to feel joy and you don't want to spend time in a space like that.

30:15 - Damaris (Host)

What do you think people should be thinking when they're trying to achieve certain feelings? Right? What should they be thinking about in their space to do when they want to feel a certain way, they're happiest. Right, Like that's obviously. I think to me is like that's your ultimate goal, right, you want to feel your best, whatever that is, how should people be thinking about that when it comes to the things that they buy or the things that they're considering to decorate their space?

30:40 - Julie (Guest)

Think about. What are the things that make you happy, like it's as simple as what makes you happy, and some people can't even answer that question what makes you happy, what brings you joy, what makes you feel like for me, let's take me for an example. I love music. I'm a hip hop head. You're gonna see that in my space, you're gonna see that, like I have a graffiti piece that I put up in a frame because I know that I love hip hop. I'm from New York. My husband loves hip hop. It's who we are right.

31:16

It's who we are. Not everybody's gonna like it, but I don't give a shit because it's my space, right. That makes me happy. When I look at that, I feel joy. When I see I have an African print in my house, when I look at that I've had it for over 15 years it brings me joy. Why? Because I love all things Africa. Number two, it's a woman with three children and at that time I only had two kids when I bought the piece. But it reminds me of a nurturing person. I'm a very nurturing person and it's rich in color. That piece is gonna stay with me for years to come. Because those are the things. When I look at them, they evoke a certain feeling. It's not just something I picked up at Marshall's Like. I'm putting a lot of time and energy into selecting the pieces that I bring into my space, and decorating should be something that takes time. It shouldn't be something that we're just going on a home goods trip in one day.

32:17

We're like let's go Racking up the credit card.

32:22

Yeah, like racking up the credit card, like really be intentional and take time and selecting the pieces, Like literally look at the piece and say how does this make me feel? What are the emotions that come that conjure up inside of me when I'm looking at it Because it is that deep? Maybe it's just me, because I'm a damn Scorpio rising, I don't know, but I'd be all deep into everything. I'm like it's a graffiti piece. What is it really? A graffiti piece I need to know what's behind the graffiti piece who's?

32:51 - Nachi (Host)

the worship. They're why we frame it with.

32:52 - Julie (Guest)

Lord they're not. Look at the colors and the curves. Yes, that's me. So it's like that. It's as simple but as complicated as that, right, it makes any sense. It's like really be intentional, really take time and looking at the pieces that you bring into your space and do they make you happy, do they reflect who you are, do they say something about you? When, let's say, nachi, when Damaris goes into your house, is she gonna step in there and be like this is totally Nachi everywhere, or is she gonna be like they just all stop looking at Pinterest? You know you're not into no fucking mob and gold.

33:35

That's not you, yeah.

33:37 - Nachi (Host)

And look, and that's how we talk to each other too, Because even now I call her. She's my handyman when she comes to my house.

33:50 - Damaris (Host)

As soon as I walk in, I'm like with a drill in one hand and I'm like that's me with my sister.

33:55 - Nachi (Host)

I'm like, this is where I want this picture up here and I want you to hang this up, bro. How does this look, damaris? And she's like okay, it is a list of things.

34:07 - Julie (Guest)

And that's me and my sister. So this is the same thing to me. I'm like sure, yeah, why not?

34:12 - Nachi (Host)

Because I love you Right To your point. Yeah, it has to be representative of who you are and I, you know, definitely when I go into Damaris's home you could tell that's her, it's her style, you know. You definitely could see that.

34:30 - Julie (Guest)

It's true, it's true, Because my sister even said it to me. She goes that's so you, we are so different. I'm like we are so different because it's true, Right.

34:41 - Nachi (Host)

Like you see me in my home. That's the way it should be right.

34:45 - Damaris (Host)

It should be and this is what you constantly tout on your website and on your platform. Is that it should be? It's an extension of beauty. It should reflect you right, and part of that is getting to know yourself, which I think you make a great point of like. Not everybody's ready for that.

35:04 - Julie (Guest)

They're not, which is why it's such a different way of decorating. It's like you have to be able to like really it's a very intimate relationship you have with the decorator. Like you have to be open to telling me your vision, telling me how you want to feel, telling me what like they always goes towards this of what you're going through at the moment and how do you want to come out of that. Where do you want to like? What do you want the other side to look like? You know, and then it's just me about me, just like really listening to you and having that vision that you don't even see for your space because you haven't even like gone there in your mind. You're like nah, we can do this.

35:49

We can do this. It's like this this is what you need right now, like you need to feel grounded, you need to feel alive. What color you need to feel like in your element? You need to feel like you are in your safe space, because that's what your home should be. Your home should be there to like really be a safe space for you to really be, like that protector for you, to really be where you can let loose and be you.

36:13 - Damaris (Host)

Right? Have you had people that you had to turn away because you guys you just didn't connect with, they didn't connect with your approach and vice versa you didn't connect with what they were giving you.

36:24 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, because when I first started I wanted to help everybody. I said yes to everybody and back then, to be honest, I wasn't even on my journey yet, so it was more like just trying to cater to the client. You just want a client, so you just like. And then, as I kind of got more seasoned, I'm like wait a second, this doesn't even make me happy and like we're just not going to work well together. Because I want you to understand, I want you to have the same understanding or the same. I want us to have the same viewpoint about decorating. And if you were just about this like whole cookie cutter thing that you see on heavenly or heavenly, whatever you call these like yeah, where it's like you have the same space, you have the same space.

37:07

You have the same space. It's like everybody has the same space.

37:11 - Nachi (Host)

We're all just rotating.

37:13 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, it's just like everybody's the same, and I'm like I had to start turning people, you know, away and I wanted to also work with the starting client. So I wanted to work with my people, because our people deserve it the most. Yes, you know, like we want to be. We want to just feel nurtured in our spaces. Right, what's safe too? Yeah, you want to feel safe.

37:38 - Damaris (Host)

You want to feel at home. Yeah, because out in the world you're dealing with so much shit, so much shit.

37:46 - Julie (Guest)

You know, cold switching the whole racial, everything like it's just you're looking behind your back, you're like anxious. All this because you're like looking for the exit every time you go to the exit.

37:59 - Nachi (Host)

I was at the dentist's office this morning. I was like where's the exit? Crazy, that's just how I think. Girl, I'd be in the subway cars and I'm like where the extradors, because I need to know how to get out of here the quickest.

38:17 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, and it's like you you're constantly on all the time, right, it's true, you're like on because you're on defensive mode or you just be trying to be aware of your surroundings all the time. That is like when I want to. When I'm home, I just want to chill, I want to relax, I just want to let loose, I want to put my feet up, I want to light my candles, I want to watch my TV, I want to place to put my food, like I just want to be serviced Right.

38:43

I want to be served by my home Because I put so much love into it, and that's how it gives you that love back. It's by you putting that love into it first. Right, it has to be like a symbiotic relationship with your space, it's yeah, it's typical, it really is.

39:00 - Damaris (Host)

I do have a question for you. It's a little, it's not off topic, but it relates to clutter and I think you talked about this also on your site, which I love. What do you think about, marie Kondo?

39:12 - Julie (Guest)

To be honest, I never watched an episode. Oh no, okay, no, I've heard of her. I've seen like little snippets on Instagram. All I know is that she's very neat. Like give me a rundown, she's very like. I just think of like these, like eight type people Very organized?

39:32 - Nachi (Host)

I don't know, I can't. I'm like Jesus Christ.

39:35 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, yes, she's all about just removing the clutter, and I think she comes from a Buddhist background, which makes a lot of sense about you know. She teaches the people on her show about showing gratitude for the things that you have and, even as you get rid of it, thanking it and moving on right and clearing out your space, and I think for me, it's just always about I always feel like I work better when my office is clean or when the house is clean, I just feel good. And so she changed my drawer situation because I'm like, oh, I can open it now.

40:13

Oh, I've opened everything in a really cute way, but I'm like it's been three years and I'm still folding it that way.

40:19 - Nachi (Host)

So I'm like oh, wow, to the point that she comes to my house and she's like why don't you do, marie Kondo, your drawer over here? I'm like okay, your drawer situation is a mess, nachi.

40:31 - Julie (Guest)

No, I would say that I'm I align with her when it, when it talks about, when she's talking about thanking yes, thanking it for serving you and then a lot you know you have to like go in order to let the new in right, and the way that I think about clutter, I think about it in like a very deep way. I'm just like clutter to me is the equivalent of like rejection.

40:57

You're literally telling the universe that you don't want nothing new, you're good with what you have, that you're comfortable as is, and you're telling them no, go on to the next. Because I'm good, right, like that's my definition of clutter, right. And when I think about it that way, I'm like I can let go of this rug, I can let go of it all. Just take it.

41:25 - Damaris (Host)

Just take it because we're like part quarters because of my father.

41:29 - Julie (Guest)

This is happy's fault my mom was. My mom was very much like she, she, she got to a point where she was just thrifting all the time.

41:37 - Nachi (Host)

I'm like mom it's like I know, yeah, it's a minimalist.

41:43 - Damaris (Host)

And he's like what is this? Get rid of it. When it? When was the last time you said? I was like I don't want to get rid of it, and then it's like the time that I needed. I'm like, damn, I wish I had that that happens to me too.

41:55 - Julie (Guest)

That's what happened like once or twice. Like even now I'm like shit. I need a mirror for the entryway. Did I still in the attic Because I was in my?

42:07 - Damaris (Host)

am.

42:07 - Julie (Guest)

I really going to use this. I don't feel like spray painting it. I'll just buy anyone. But that that's how I look at clutter. Like clutter is like we got to start letting go of shit. Yeah, Like we are not who we used to be. A lot of us have grown, A lot of us have matured, A lot of us have transitioned to new chapters and it's like we're holding on to shit from the nineties, which is kind of good when it's fashion, when it's not fashion.

42:37 - Damaris (Host)

Do you still need that, that Nintendo?

42:40 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, like you got to just let go of it. Like, yeah, I serve this purpose. You have a memory to hold on to, but it's not serving a purpose anymore, right, so just thank it and let it go. And because when stuff, when stuff is taking up space in your home, that's a lot of energy You're not allowing, like abundance, to flow through your home. You're not allowing it to actually enter into your home because you're blocking it by all this junk you don't even use and you could literally give it to someone else who would love it and appreciate it and you could make use of it. No, that's a great point. That's how I look at clutter and it makes it easier for me to let go of things when I think about it.

43:26 - Nachi (Host)

It's freeing when yeah, it's freeing when you because even when I go through my you know season of let me clear up my closet or, you know, clear up the room, you know one of the kids room, because the other day I was just looking at my son's room I was like, uh, gabriel, we got to do something because I know three quarters of this stuff you don't even use and we need to get rid of it because his room especially, I want to change and make it more comfortable for him because he stays in my room and I need him to stay in his room, staying your room, and he always tells me come fee, so I need to make his room come fee.

44:16 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, you need to get rid of it for good.

44:21 - Nachi (Host)

But, like I said the other day, it's because he has a lot of stuff in there that he doesn't even use. He doesn't. I'm not going to ask him if he wants it, because I know he's going to say, yeah, I still wanted.

44:32 - Julie (Guest)

No, we're going to like you got to do like what Robert does in the house.

44:37 - Nachi (Host)

Yes.

44:38 - Julie (Guest)

Wait to then. I hope it's going to out. And then the kids are like what happened to him? Like I don't touch your stuff, go ask your father. He's like I don't know and I'm just like you know, you threw all this shit out.

44:53 - Nachi (Host)

Like he's, like you don't want to know where it is.

44:58 - Julie (Guest)

But then I mean to his defense. He's like I told you to pick it up 10 times and you didn't listen.

45:02 - Nachi (Host)

So obviously you don't use it and you don't care, so he's going in the garbage.

45:05 - Julie (Guest)

He's not wrong. He's not wrong. So that's just the way it is. But it's also like thinking about how our kids are watching us even when it comes to our spaces, right Like showing them, through the love that we point to our space, how they should be pouring love into their room right, and so that when they get older, they're not like damn, my mom was a hoarder. Damn, my mom had a lot of shit.

45:32 - Nachi (Host)

Damn. Like you know, like that's not their story.

45:36 - Julie (Guest)

They're like no my mom had. Mom was hooked up.

45:40 - Nachi (Host)

It was nice.

45:41 - Julie (Guest)

And it's the colors, and you know. And then when they're older, that's what they create in their space. It's like a teaching moment, I think.

45:50 - Damaris (Host)

So, julie, to close out, some of kind of like your thoughts are what are like three things that you feel every person should consider as they approach decorating their home and their space.

46:07 - Julie (Guest)

When you gave me this question, I thought about it for a second. I thought about it and I think the one thing is really understanding that decorating your space is really getting to know who you are. No-transcript, it's really putting the energy into that first, and then going ahead and doing the fun stuff of ooh, let me pick out colors and ooh, let me pick out patterns and match and do all that. I think that one definitely for sure.

46:41

Number two is always how you want to feel in your space. Think about how it is that you want to feel when you walk into your space. What is the vision that you have for your space? Tying that vision into who you are, not just tying the vision into what you see out there. Because, again, your space should be you. It should be you always, like, no matter what anybody tells you, because at the end of the day, you're the one who's spending time there, you're the one who's living there, you're the one who's sleeping there, and if you don't love your space, then what's the point? You just spend all this money to please other people, and that's not cute. And then the third one, which is I wouldn't even add this to the list, but I'm going to say it anyway because I feel like people need to hear it a lot. If you need to freaking, measure like you need to measure.

47:32

I'm going to start giving out tape, measuring tape, measuring tapes tape measures, whatever you call them, like you kept one, like to the Oprah you get a measure, you get. I mean it shouldn't even be an issue anymore because you have it on your phone. This isn't their app where you just say and it measures for you, like I don't want to hear it, no more, I'm guilty, you're guilty.

47:54 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, I go to her house. She's like oh, just walk around like a little tool box, my little toolbox around her house. I have the tape measure, I have the stud finder.

48:07 - Julie (Guest)

Yes, I have the stud finder too, Because I'm like I don't want to keep putting holes in the wall. No, you're like my sister, my sister, yeah, that's like it's gonna fit.

48:17 - Nachi (Host)

That is me. It looks like it's gonna fit.

48:20 - Julie (Guest)

That works. That's the shit I'm going to fit, like I need you to be sure. Usually it looks like it fits you figure it out and I'm like what the hell?

48:31 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, no, that's not a thing. But yes, julie, I feel your pain.

48:35 - Julie (Guest)

Yes, it's like what do you mean? You're not measuring? Like what are we doing? It's 2023. She's like they got apps for that. They have apps like this. No excuse, it's on the Android and it's on every iPhone.

48:51 - Nachi (Host)

I mean I'm, I don't know.

48:53 - Damaris (Host)

It has to be on it no it, should you have some reflecting to do.

48:59 - Julie (Guest)

You have some reflecting to do and then, oh so the real third one is staying true to yourself, and that's when I tell people put your blinders on, stop worrying about what other people are doing in their spaces, stop following all these designers and what they do in their space. Yeah, because I'm also seeing that a lot of spaces are looking the same, and I get that we want to support certain people, which is a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong. But when it starts like everybody's issues, like you know, like again, we're not all the same.

49:42

So it's like I want to, yeah, I want to see you in your space. And when I see your let's say, your, your Instagram, and I and I follow you and I see you and I watch your stories I'm like, oh, I get a sense of who this person on there.

49:56 - Nachi (Host)

And I see their space.

49:57 - Julie (Guest)

I'm like this is not matching what is happening here.

50:03 - Damaris (Host)

What's going on? What are we doing? That seems so basic, but that's probably the most important of the three.

50:11 - Julie (Guest)

Yeah, I did a game on my stories a few months back when I took my mom to the hospital. So I'm like, let me stay entertained and go on Instagram. Let me do a test here and be like. So I started putting up random rooms. I found pictures online and I was like, oh, let me put them up and let me ask people Describe the person that lives in this space. And people were like um, it was kind of like ghosty.

50:42 - Damaris (Host)

And I was like okay.

50:43 - Julie (Guest)

I'll go first. So I was like well, this person seems like I was. Like you could tell that they kind of got lost in the process because they didn't even finish hanging up the artwork. You could tell that they're very into sites that they can't tell if they like glam or they're into moodiness, or they're into this or they're into that. This person seems very grounded. Because you see a lot of wood in their space, you see such a sophistication, because you see some metals in there and you see that this person has some sexiness to that. So you can really get to know a person through their space. It's a very intimate process. So it's like put your blinders on, get to know yourself, measure, then take action.

51:30 - Nachi (Host)

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, she's a writer okay.

51:35 - Julie (Guest)

Measure. I love that. It's a true story. It's a true story, I'm not lying, I mean, it's gonna save you a lot of time. It returns and return, so much return.

51:52 - Nachi (Host)

Sometimes I just deal with it. Yeah, that's obvious.

51:58 - Damaris (Host)

That's how you want the whole shit you don't need because you're like I don't got time to return this.

52:02 - Nachi (Host)

And I'm just gonna leave it there because it doesn't look that bad. Okay, I'm gonna work on it.

52:07 - Damaris (Host)

Thank, you, julie. One final super important question, since you are also of the same generation that we are. I need to know of the four golden girls who would you describe yourself to be closest to.

52:27 - Julie (Guest)

See, it depends on what stage of my life we're talking about.

52:34 - Damaris (Host)

Okay, this stage, your current stage, my, current stage.

52:38 - Nachi (Host)

I'm not talking about your Blan, yeah, not the early 90s.

52:42 - Julie (Guest)

That it might be Um. Okay now.

52:56 - Damaris (Host)

Rosa.

52:59 - Julie (Guest)

Who am I now? I don't know. I'm a little Okay. I would say, see, it's different, because we're like. I'm like, really, that's what we're doing. Yeah, that's that. And then I have my Betty White.

53:52 - Nachi (Host)

Because I could be oblivious to things.

53:58 - Julie (Guest)

It's intentional.

54:00 - Nachi (Host)

I love it all. I'm in a bubble.

54:05 - Julie (Guest)

And then I could be the mom too sometimes, and then I still have some blanchions with Robert. I guess I'm kind of all four. Even I get your Scorpio ass out of here and I'm like what?

54:20 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, I'm definitely more, dorothy. You know stank and a combination of a pragmatic and logical. I throw at Nashi sometimes. I'm like did you think that through? Okay, right, but I'm glad you, I'm glad you played that game with me. Before that game, let me ask you. The first guest that we asked, I'm like why not Let me?

54:45 - Nachi (Host)

see who does she think she resonates with? I know.

54:49 - Damaris (Host)

Julie, yet again you could just share with the folks, with our listeners, about like where they could find you and engage with you. You know, to explore your wonderful work.

55:01 - Julie (Guest)

Where you can find me on my website. Redo your room onlinecom and you'll find all my services there my one on one work. I may bring back the group program, not sure yet, but for now for sure the one on one work you'll find on there and you'll find all things about me on there, to my blog and all the good stuff. And then on Instagram on Julie AJ. Awesome, I went through this whole you know transition and we switched it, but yeah, I love it.

55:31 - Damaris (Host)

Well, thank you, julie, for joining us on this episode. As expected, you shared great information with our listeners. I'd like to close out with a reminder of the importance of creating an environment that is your personal sanctuary, a reflection of your best self, your highest self. There's a lot of noise in the world and to me and as I always say, it's simply a distraction. Keep your eyes on the prize, that prize being yourself. Thank you for listening. Please follow us on your favorite podcast platform and sign up for our emails on our website at I'm not yellingco to get the latest.