The Journey to Financial Wellness and Abundance Episode Transcript
00:08 - Nachi (Host)
Welcome to another episode of I'm Not Yelling I'm Dominican podcast hosted by Nachi and Damaris. Hey, fam, it's your girl, achi, and I'm here with.
00:21 - Damaris (Host)
Damaris, and I am the first and last of what God made. Ooh, and what is that? And that's the truth.
00:32 - Nachi (Host)
I'm just the first and the last god made of me period of. That's it.
00:34 - Damaris (Host)
There we go, there we go I hope he didn't make clones of you guys, but I know there's no one else like me you're right, you're one in a million.
00:46 - Nachi (Host)
Today we have a really good topic. I feel like we you know, every topic is great, but this one is about money and, more specifically, our relationship. Yes, it might be a love, love, love or hate, uh type of relationship, but we really want to talk about how money impacts our life, um, how we can build that, that healthy money mindset and really get on that right track so that we can teach our children, younger generation, to really have good money habits, so that they can build wealth and live life.
01:37 - Damaris (Host)
Right the way we're supposed to, because I just can't think about oh, we're on this rock that's hurtling through space and we hear worried about paying bills.
01:51 - Nachi (Host)
You girl.
01:54 - Damaris (Host)
No, we need to be enjoying life, and, understandably, what we need, though, in order to do that, is financial security and the ability to be able to enjoy those things in life.
02:08
So, totally, I get that, and this is why the idea of really understanding what your relationship to money is is so critical, because that really drives, ultimately, how you engage with money and how much of that comes to you in a way that is going to be impactful and positive for your life and for your future, and so you and I have talked about this, and before getting into this, getting into this, you know people may be like well, why do you think you know these things?
02:48
Actually, I don't think anybody says that when they listen to our podcast, but just to give some of, just to give our listeners some context into my background before working as an independent consultant for digital strategy, I was working within the asset management space for 18 years, and in that space, I learned so much about finance and how to build for your retirement and for really saving for your nest egg, and things that I know, my parents didn't know about and many of my family members aren't as aware of, and the the only reason I was able to and have a nice 401k package and whatnot, is because I worked in that space.
03:59
But had I worked in a different kind of field, I don't know how much of this. It is a big, you know it's. It's something that's pretty significant, contributing to your retirement plan, especially when our generation, we don't have the luxury of careers with pension plans. Our parents did so. They were very fortunate and and and part of the reason of why it's not like they really had to understand the financial spaces as I learned it, because they also worked in a very specific field that was going to provide them a pension after they retired, which is a beautiful thing, but those kinds of packages just don't exist for the most part for many jobs.
05:08
So I say all of that because I am grateful for my time in corporate, because I learned so much and I have been able to share that with you, with my immediate family and other family members when they have questions. But I also understand that there is a lot that it can be overwhelming and even separate from that. I also recognize that the way we were raised influenced also how I viewed money. So while I learned the technicalities of how to make certain investments and all that good stuff throughout my career, I also have a very specific attitude towards money in general. I always expect it to come to me and I think that has always been something that I partly learned from our parents and something that's just also been innate with me.
06:10
But it is very much how you, your relationship to money, is reflected in your money situation today. Right, like how you view money, how you, how you think about it, your attitudes toward it all impact and affect how you are financially. And so I think you know we, you and I have talked about this, about this whole idea of, yes, your relationship to money. But that starts with what is your mindset with money, right, and I think about, um, you know it's yeah, no, I, I agree with that.
06:56 - Nachi (Host)
Uh, I have the same attitude where I don't think, I ever feel or believe that money is not going to come to me, right, right. And it's funny because and I feel like we have a combination of both of our parents, who have two different viewpoints of how they look at money you have Poppy, who is more of the spender, you know, and if we think about the archetypes with money, he would be considered the romantic because he loves to spend money on himself, because it makes him feel good, right, and money on his family because, you know, it just makes him feel good, right, and spend money on his family because it just makes him feel good. He likes the luxuries of life, he loves to experience life as it is he likes to treat himself.
07:51
Yes, yes, Because in his mind it was I'm not going to take this when I'm gone, I might as well enjoy it right now. So why am I going to save my money to enjoy it later and you can't bury it.
08:10 - Damaris (Host)
That was one thing that he always said. He's like you cannot bury your money with you. It can't go with you.
08:17 - Nachi (Host)
No, right, he's just like well, that's just. It was absurd to him. And mommy was the complete opposite, where she was the saver you know she wasn't about spending money frivolously and I feel like we have a combination of the both. Right, it's like oh, we spend. Yes, you know we like to live life now, but we also understand that we need to save for for later you know.
08:45
You just never know what what comes up, and so I always, I always look at money as and even when, cause I want people to understand it's not about like, oh, you always got it, Cause there's been time when I didn't have it, but I never felt like it wasn't going to happen. And there's a difference, you know. Yes, Just because I didn't have it at that moment, I was never in a state of despair Like, oh shit ain't working for me, I'm never going to get, you know above water.
09:27
No, I just understood that shit happens and money is going to come to me eventually and I'm just going to appreciate what I have now.
09:54 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, like I can say I've always lived an abundant lifestyle, but it's, like you mentioned, mm, hmm, less like with mommy. Yes, the idea of saving or having something just in in case of emergency or just for planning for for the future like she would plan for her for christmas, so she would buy all the gifts for her niece and nephew, so she
10:16
would be planning for this and putting money aside from the beginning of the year to the end of the year so she could buy her niece and nephew gifts, her immediate family gifts. So that was her in her planning stages and that's what I got from her and I love that. But at the same time, I like to spend my money where I like to spend my money, like you said I get that from. Poppy, because I'm like where am I going to go with this money?
10:39 - Nachi (Host)
But why Let me enjoy it now?
10:47 - Damaris (Host)
Like money is an earthly realm thing, is not a spiritual thing the energy of money is spiritual, but the actual, the money itself that's here, that's on this planet, and I'm gonna look fly while I'm here, while I'm in this earthly realm, I'm gonna look fly, but I don't.
11:03
Also, I don't go broke buying stuff right like I feel like it's a balance of things, right, like I don't. I'm not into like, oh I gotta have this bomb ass car. No, I don't really like. No, I just know I want to be able to move when I want to move the way I want to move. If I want to go move, if I want to go on a trip, I want to be able to do that at the drop of a dime. If I want to buy this outfit, buy this jacket, this bag, I want to be able to do that. However, I want to do it. I don't want to be ever told or constrained with how I move about in life.
11:41 - Nachi (Host)
Right right.
11:42 - Damaris (Host)
But then I also understand like okay, well, you know I can't get that right now, and that's fine, and so I think about. It's what people really need to recognize, and it starts with how do you, how do you feel when you think about money? Like it starts with how do you feel? Do you have a positive reaction or is it a negative reaction?
12:13 - Nachi (Host)
when it comes to.
12:13 - Damaris (Host)
When you think about money, does it make you feel anxious or excited?
12:19 - Nachi (Host)
That makes me feel excited.
12:21 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm annoyed when I gotta think about it oh, I gotta pay this credit card bill. But I'm excited. Oh shit, I'm about to do this you know.
12:30 - Nachi (Host)
So I think, well, even with bill. No, not that I'm excited, but it's just like oh, you know like I got it.
12:37 - Damaris (Host)
You know, let me pay yeah, no, no, no, you're right, you're right it's never like.
12:41 - Nachi (Host)
It's never a dread. It the only time dread would come is if you don't have the money to pay that bill that's true no, you're right here.
12:52 - Damaris (Host)
no, but I I get annoyed because I'm like come on, why I got to pay this. But that's stupid, I got to pay it. Like you know the Bible, jesus said when people, when they try to get at him, like, well, what about tax collectors? They're not good people. He's like give to Caesar what is owed to Caesar. That is his money. His money is on his face. Give him his money and I'm like you're right. Take your money. Whatever, god's still gonna give me some more.
13:25 - Nachi (Host)
Exactly.
13:27 - Damaris (Host)
But no, I always found that funny. He was like okay, well, give to Caesar what is Caesar's Like. Why are you harassing me about some dumb shit like that?
13:33 - Nachi (Host)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:35 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, that's not God's money.
13:40 - Nachi (Host)
They're like it's all mine, it's all mine.
13:43 - Damaris (Host)
Right, but you know framing it. Thinking of things like starting about being introspective about your relationship with money starts with how do you feel when you think about money. And then I would say how important is money to you? Right? Because for me I don't go around thinking let me work like a donkey so I could one day be a billionaire. I'm never going to work like a donkey, like that's just never going to happen. And if that means I'm not a billionaire, I could live my life in peace.
14:19 - Nachi (Host)
I'm okay with that.
14:21 - Damaris (Host)
I just want to live a good life. I want to live a comfortable life, and that includes spending time with my family, the people that I love, my friends and family, my community that we're building here. Like that is what brings me joy, right? Like that is what brings me joy, right? I don't. So if you're telling me in order to do that and you'll get this from all those books about, like, how to be a successful millionaire or billionaire, they're like the or rather not how to be a successful millionaire, billionaire, but it's like what do? What do people in those positions do on a day to day? They get up at 5am in the morning. They read five books. Blah to do on a day-to-day? They get up at 5 am in the morning. They read five books.
14:59
I don't want that life. You sound crazy. I'm not getting up at five o'clock every day. This is never going to happen. You sound robotic, you sound crazy. That doesn't sound like a life I want to live. So I'm not. But again, how important is money to you? Those are things you need to assess when you think about your relationship with money. Is money a priority to you and, again, to me? There's no right or wrong answer to this right, because it's truly what you feel that works for you. You what you feel that works for you, like yes, I want to live a comfortable life and be happy, but I'm also not going to. It's not going to be to my detriment, I'm not going to be yeah, I'm just not going to do that yeah, I think about your parents.
15:50 - Nachi (Host)
how our parents, um, how, how they never work so that they can build a life in DR right? Your father, particularly, was always no, I want to enjoy my life right now where I'm at this is. I want to buy a house here and not a house in DR, because I want to enjoy it Right, because all of our aunts and uncles. They all saved their money and they were building their buying land and building homes in DR Yep.
16:25
And beautiful. But to your father's point, he was always like no, I don't want to wait till I'm retired or when I'm done working to move there and live my life. I want to enjoy a house right here and enjoy that and not wait until I'm retired and hope I retired young enough to go enjoy it. Right, right, so yeah.
16:56 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, right. So yeah, yeah, no. And that all comes to again is understanding what drives your money attitudes, and that is going to help inform and keep you focused on and disciplined towards your goals, because, ultimately, that's really what you're trying to get at Right, towards your goals. Because, ultimately, like that's really what you're trying to get at right and and I think for a lot of people, and I'll say that again, you and I we've had a unique upbringing with and a balance upbringing, rather with two people on two ends of the spectrum, and they really complemented themselves as a couple because they were able to balance each other out.
17:43
If my mother was exactly like my father, we would be destitute, you know, to some degree.
17:49
No, seriously not to say that we I mean, you know, not for nothing. Let me not disrespect my father, because he would never let us be destitute. He would figure out some way. But the idea is like they weren't living crazy, living la vida loca right, like, because they both are. Like how? We gonna spend money, no, but it would also be terrible if we were only just about hoarding and saving and waiting to you know that special moment yeah special days for us to yeah, yeah, like fire our golden years.
18:26
All of that, like poppy, was very much about living in the moment. He was never. We have that nice flatware, the nice silverware, and we ate with that silverware every day, and that always stuck with me. He's like we don't wait for a special occasion to use our fancy silverware to be like oh, it's christmas and now no he said we're good, and I'm like you're goddamn right.
18:48 - Nachi (Host)
Yeah, they had a. They had a china set and we used to eat from the china set and we used it, it, we used it regularly regularly and I'm like that's right what are we waiting for?
19:04 - Damaris (Host)
Needless to say, that China said was not passed down no, because it was used and abused, but it was alright, I loved it. I'm like, okay, whatever who else doesn't eat from porcelain dishes every day? Oh okay, I'm like. Who else doesn't eat from porcelain dishes every day?
19:23
oh okay, I'm sorry, what we do look, I love that, I love that for us and that's what it was. But I'm just saying that. I'm just saying that everybody so not everyone had that kind of balanced lifestyle and I can appreciate that. You and I had a very unique and amazing upbringing.
20:01
Love to talk about this because I love our parents so much for what they did for us and how they were really always trying to provide us with experiences, and this is again not to say that we did not grow up with a silver spoon in our mouth. No, our parents worked hard and we grew up in a working class, you know, middle, lower middle-class family. But but we always, we always had experiences and that's what and again, that's how I live my life. I love that because I want to have memories.
20:29 - Nachi (Host)
Yeah.
20:29 - Damaris (Host)
I don't want to be like, oh, but I got a billion dollars in the bank, okay, well, I want to spend time and I want to do fun things, things that I'll never forget, and that's what I'm full of now. That being said, tapping into the psychological and emotional aspects of money because, again, people have had, people have, you know, vastly, or can have vastly different experiences than we have but it really does start with reframing your mind to come from a place of abundance and not scarcity. And and if and if you were raised to think from a scarcity perspective, that is going to be a harder shift for you. I get that, but I feel like the first step in moving from that kind of scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset starts with being grateful for what you have right this moment.
21:40 - Nachi (Host)
Yeah.
21:41 - Damaris (Host)
And what, and also being grateful for what you know is coming your way and expecting that that has been the biggest thing for me. Cause, again like yeah, there are times where I'm just like wait a minute, when is my next project coming up? Right when my next dollar is coming through yeah, yeah and and then I have to recalibrate and be like wait a minute, bitch, you're still waking up in your bed some 8 30 in the morning, nine o'clock on a regular work day you hear, you hear in bed, thank and I thank god.
22:23
I'm like. Thank you for this, for this lifestyle and my soft bed, my soft sheets. Thank you for the abundance that comes to me freely and easily yeah every day yeah, it's always having that grateful mindset it reminds me
22:40 - Nachi (Host)
and, I think, a great example of when you're grateful for even the smallest things, yes, you will be rewarded even greater. And I'm gonna share a quick story. When I was um, just just, it's a good example of of gratitude and being grateful for like the small things. When I was in high school uh, you know, senior year, you're doing all these activities and um, uh, trips and all of that and I remember mommy came home and she gave me this, this photo album, this small photo album that I still have to this day. She was like oh yeah, you know, this is your little graduation gift, right? I was so excited. I was like, oh, thank you, mommy. Oh, I love this, it's so cute, loved it Because I was like I could put my little cute photos up in here. It was maybe a couple of weeks later. Mommy comes home from work and she, she gave me this jewelry box with um earrings, these gold hoops, and she was like I had to get this for you because she was just so excited over this album.
23:57 - Damaris (Host)
She was like, I spent $5 on it.
24:02 - Nachi (Host)
No, seriously, she was like I feel bad that this is all I gained. And I was just like, and I was taking it back at the top because I was like, but I love that album. Right right, you know what I'm saying. Right right Because I know like when people who are in that season where you know your money is acting funny and you're just, you can't see the light.
24:47 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, you can't see the forest from the trees.
24:51 - Nachi (Host)
I get it and but you have to kind of remind yourself is your ass outside homeless? Come on now. Are you able to feed yourself and your children? I mean, like, think about those things, like I know it's. It may not be like a big deal, but when you start looking at all the good things, you'll start seeing more good things and more good things is going to start coming to you, because you're going to start attracting that towards you.
25:21
And I'm a testament to that because I, like I said, even when I was struggling financially, I never felt like this was it For me. It was always this is just a phase, I can't wait to get out of this phase. Always, this is just a phase, I can't wait to get out of this phase. But right, this is just a phase. I didn't get stuck in that. Right, I didn't get stuck in that because when you, when you get stuck is when you then lack any innovation, you don't want to do anything to further yourself because you feel stuck and so, therefore, you are stuck. So you gotta start thinking and and getting out of your head and in that moment of uh, in that season that you're in, where your finances not, may not be doing well, which then means okay, you need to now have to sit down like once you kind kind of get through, like okay, what is your issue with money? Like right.
26:24 - Damaris (Host)
What? How do you think about money? Does it make you anxious or are you excited about it?
26:29 - Nachi (Host)
Right and then if you're anxious why, why, why, what's causing that, and and deal with that and then start looking at how you're actually really looking at your money, how it's coming in and coming out, you know you can't. I have a friend who she makes a great salary but she is always always underwater.
27:02 - Damaris (Host)
That's crazy.
27:04 - Nachi (Host)
It's always like she can't get ahead. And when I say she makes good, she makes six figures, she makes great money, but she can never get ahead. And she literally had told me I just don't want to look at my money Like, I don't want to sit down and do my budget, I don't really want to deal with it, you're not dealing with your situation and so you have to. Actually, you can't get ahead unless you understand where your money is going.
27:38 - Damaris (Host)
Right.
27:39 - Nachi (Host)
Right, your money's coming in. What are you spending your money on? Where the bulk of your money is going Mm-hmm.
27:47
You need to figure. I think about when Crystal was on our show, crystal Todd CPS. She's really good. Evie, I don't follow her. Y'all need to follow her, because she definitely talks about like your mindset and how you need to learn and switch your mindset so that you can have more control of your money. And it starts with you understanding what comes in and what comes out. And she has a great she's a great tool, right?
28:21 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, she has a budget.
28:22 - Nachi (Host)
Yeah, she has a budget spreadsheet that within that that that a spreadsheet that she created she has a I don't know what she calls it, but it's like a calculator of where would you like to be. So you enter in, ideally, how much you want to spend in housing, how much you want to spend in in your um, your car payment, how much you want to spend. So, just like making you sit there and think like, this is where I want to be, right, and then you put in what you're currently making and what you're currently paying and then she'll show you okay, this is how much you should be making. So then now you have a clear picture of, okay, this is where I want to be. This is where I'm at now.
29:10
So I need to figure out do I need to get a job? Uh, you know work, um, find another job that's going to pay me more. Or do I need to get a job you know work, find another job that's going to pay me more. Or do I get a side hustle right and just like, and she gives you tips on how to, you know, create, have more control of your money and your spending yeah, people should listen to the episode.
29:37 - Damaris (Host)
It was from season one and it's called it's All About the Benjamins.
29:42 - Nachi (Host)
No, she's really great.
29:43 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, so she was a great guest and all her information's there and it's good because when you listen to that episode, she does talk a little bit about it there and also, as you were mentioning, all these resources that she offers.
30:05 - Nachi (Host)
And also, as you were mentioning, like all these resources that she offers, and it's funny because I do when it comes to the idea of budget.
30:08 - Damaris (Host)
I actually don't like the term budgeting, right? Because for me yeah, I don't like the term budgeting but yeah, like you being disciplined towards your goals, identify what your financial goals are, and then it's like then figure out how you're going to be disciplined towards that. So reframing is just a simple reframe of how you think about it, because when I think of budgets, I don't budget. I'll tell you this right now. I don't budget. I just pay my bills and I know I'm like okay, this is the kind of I'm investing here and there and doing this.
30:37 - Nachi (Host)
I and I know I'm like okay, this is the kind of I'm investing here and there and doing this, I don't budget, yeah, what I do actually. So I agree, I don't like the word budget because I do feel like, oh I'm, it makes me feel constrained. But I do like, like crystal spreadsheet. I like the whole idea of showing me where my money is Right.
30:58
Yeah, However so what I actually do for me, because you know, I told you guys that, um, I'm a combination of both of my parents. I say I don't like to save, but I know I have to save, so things have to be automatic for me to do to save Right. Have to save, so things have to be automatic for me to do to save right, because if it's not automatic it's not going to happen. That's number one and number two.
31:25
I'm always looking at it like, oh well, I could use this money instead of saving it. I could use it to do X, y and Z. But what has been helpful for me is that I have separate accounts. I have my bill account, I have my spending account. So when my check goes in to my bill account, one of the bills is to pay myself to spend money. Right, right, that's my money to spend and it helps me to separate those accounts because I found myself when everything was in one account that I would spend money and sometimes, uh, I'm not paying attention because again, I'm not, like you know, doing a line by line budgeting.
32:16
So it's like, oh, I may overspend, like oh shit, I forgot that this money was supposed to come out of my account and then I'm not trying to calculate like, okay, well, I got this amount of money in my account.
32:32
So yeah, yeah, yeah um, you know I could spend this much. I'm not doing math like that on a daily basis, right? So if I have my account separate and I know this is out of my budget, you know like I do a one time budget, you know meaning these are all of my expenses and this is how much I want to give myself every. You know, every other week, other week, that's part of my bill, cause I'm I'm a bill, I'm spending money, so that, so that money that comes to that second account I spend freely, I don't, you know, as long as it's there, I can spend it. I also have an account that I call emergency spending account. What does that mean?
33:14
And I got that term from Crystal because I like, when she was just like, oh yeah, you need to have emergency cash or emergency spending cash, and this is like extra money. So the money that I get from my side hustle, that goes into that account. So anything that I would normally have used my credit card in the past where, um, you know, maybe the kids need something, or I want to buy something, or you know whatever. It's not like a, it's not like a real necessity or anything like that, but it covers that. So I have that emergency cash I don't really touch it unless it's like extra stuff that we want to get and then I have my my emergency savings account.
34:03 - Damaris (Host)
That's the you know if that's truly if shit hits the fan, right you know where I want to.
34:09 - Nachi (Host)
At least my goal is to have six months of expenses in there, right, so I so I don't even touch that, that's. That's like like a true emergency. Some shit breaks down. Okay, let me use that. So I don't use my credit card, so that helps me to kind of put my money in.
34:31 - Damaris (Host)
It's organization?
34:32 - Nachi (Host)
Yes, yes and so, and I don't feel constrained, you know like I don't feel right, right like, right like I didn't buy this latte.
34:41 - Damaris (Host)
This because, at the end of the day, if you feel like that's something that you need to do, go ahead. If that's part of your financial, go go ahead. Buy that latte right right. Yes, know that how much you're spending on in a year, but maybe that's your treat to yourself, yeah and I think people need to also give themselves some grace in that. Look, I don't want y'all to be like oh, the barrister told me to spend my money, no, let me live life now right, I can't take it.
35:08
I mean, but obviously do that within the realm of what you can afford to do.
35:15 - Nachi (Host)
I I just want to go back to work and be real with yourself because if you have to get a job that's going to pay you more, then that's what you need to do. And that's fine, or get a side hustle Like you need to figure it out.
35:30 - Damaris (Host)
Right, one of the when it comes to just mindset again, because mindset is like the background of all of this. There's some things that I've used that have helped just continue my affirmation and reaffirm how I believe about money and abundance and all that good stuff. So one I subscribe to this daily email, and I think you do too, nachi and it's from the Universe Talks. So it's from um, the universe talks yeah so it's tut the universe talk.
36:01
I love it every day because it's something positive and it's like a little daily affirmation and I love reading the postscript, like the pss and it's like oh it's like a little note to me.
36:10 - Nachi (Host)
I'm like thank you, universe okay anyway the guy that it's for her. I do.
36:17 - Damaris (Host)
They're like damaris, the angels are so proud of you. I'm like I know my angel spoke to me. Girl, they be gassing me up. I'm like, yeah, it's okay, but he, he owes the guy who created that had some years ago. He has, like this, um, this audio downloads of, like you know, these affirmations and this, this it was this particular one was called infinite possibilities and really just trying to teach you how to move through life and thinking about what it is you want and without limitations. We've talked about this in previous episodes moving without limitations, thinking that way. And so when he talked about money and when it comes to like changing negative thought patterns about money, one of the funniest examples that he brought up I thought was great was when you go to a restaurant or something and you get the bill, don't look at the bill and be like, oh my God, it was that much he said. Look at that bill and be like that's it.
37:29
I was like okay that's it and it's just like you reframing that, like why you saying that's it? Because you know you got it and you're going to get more and more is going to be coming your way. So that's no big fucking deal and I love that because that is how you should be looking at it. So I'll be happy to remind myself. So I'm like, oh, that's it.
37:51 - Nachi (Host)
There was a book that I read and I can't remember the name, so I'll we'll make sure to add it on the show notes.
37:58
But there was a book that I read and I think I shared it with you some time ago, and the author in the book she does something similar to that where she tells you go to a department store or anywhere and whatever's in your bank account, don't think about, like, what bills you have to pay. Go around the store and look at you know, the different types of items, even items that you would probably probably would have just told yourself, no, I'm not going to get that because it's too much. But if you have that amount in your account, think to yourself, oh, I could get this, oh, I can get this, oh, I got this. It's just like so that you can get that feeling of, oh yeah, I have the money for this, I can purchase this if I want to, and not think about anything else. And I and I loved her book because she gave you some really practical ways of trying to change or, you know, help you in changing your mindset of how you view money and bringing more abundance to your life.
39:03
So yeah you just reminded me of that book and that, and I just I have to make sure to include that.
39:10 - Damaris (Host)
Yeah, I think I think I have the digital version of that book. I think you got me the digital version of that book if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, and then my other favorite one is the Deepak Chopra the Creating Affluence. I love this little book. I got from a little yoga studio in New York City like around 14th Street. You and I went. It was like had to have been decades ago because you were living in New York and our clothes smelled like curry every time we went to this oh yes, I remember that it was cute, but I was like god, what the?
39:42
it's like my shit stink like curry and so. But it was a great yoga studio. It was like integral yoga something. But they had a little bookstore and I got this. I picked it up, I I remember I was like, oh, creating affluence and it's the A to Z steps to a richer life. And what's nice about it is that he has like two paragraphs for every letter of the alphabet and the idea is that you read a page daily and it's and it's just reinforces that mindset of abundance.
40:16
And so we've talked a lot about that, about the mindset, and I think we and we we touched a little bit about the practicality of of incorporating certain things into your life, and so I feel like we should talk a little bit more about that, of what are those things to help achieve? Kind of like you, you've mentioned some things, and one thing I do want to share also is similar to your approach of having multiple accounts that serve different purposes. The way in which someone can allocate their income to is by this rule of 50-30-20 rule. So the idea is that 50% of your income goes towards the things that you need, right, so things you can't live without. We're talking about school supplies, bills, of course you know, shelter, all those things that you have to have. Then the next 30% goes towards your wants. So we're talking about the things you can live without, but like going to the movies or something you know. But these are, these are the things that bring you joy right right but you have to.
41:31
You need them in order to enjoy your life, because we are here to live a life of joy, not a life of servitude or working like a donkey. And then your last 20% can go towards savings. So you grow this and use it towards whatever your future goals and or potential investments. So that is also a nice way to look at how to break up your income. If you don't want to, if you're not quite sure where to begin Because, again, it's not about just this being draconian and it's just like I'm going to eat ramen for just the next 12 months of my life and not enjoy life or ever go out to eat.
42:13
That's not living. I'm sorry, I don't know, but if that's your thing, that's your living. I'm sorry, I don't know. I mean, but if that's your thing, that's your thing. I'm just saying and so, yeah, so I think that's another way to approach, kind of like the management of money. And then I am going to say that what is it? I guess I can't believe it's been like maybe three years ago, it was july of 2021 when you, we were preparing to go to florida for a month and do our little annual trips to florida with the family and, you know, rent a house or whatever. And that summer you were like, okay, it was like literally two days before we were going to meet up, you're like, oh, by the way, I want you to teach the kids some financial literacy stuff. And I'm like, wait, what you mean? In four weeks, I mean yes, I think you.
43:10 - Nachi (Host)
I just believed in you. I knew you could handle it. Well, clearly, you did.
43:23 - Damaris (Host)
And I was like, okay, well, let me scramble while I'm also packing a month's worth of stuff. But it was actually a really great exercise for me because, again, you first of all I was honored that you trusted me and my expertise and my experience to be able to share with the kids. You know what I think they, how I think they should be thinking about money so that they could live the rich auntie life that I do, you know, without being a rich auntie. So and I was, really I was, I was. It was kind of exciting to do and I had never considered doing anything like that, and it actually led me to coming up with like a little curriculum financial literacy curriculum for the kids.
44:03
And that was a lot of fun, because what I also recognize with their generation is that they're not only going to be having to deal with paper money, fiat money, they're also going to be dealing with digital currencies and all that stuff, and so there's a lot more that they need to be considering for the future and so forth.
44:25
But it led me down the road of creating a book that talks about wealth lessons to teach your kids, and while I created it at that time I thought it was like, okay, I'm gonna be building out some curriculum for parents to help with their kids, but I didn't move it forward after that because I got caught up with other things. And then now we started doing our podcast and it's like look at this full circle, now I'm getting to talk about it again, yeah, and share it with with the community that we're building, because it really does talk about it again and share it with with the community that we're building because it really does talk about how I mean, as a kid like that's where really a lot of your attitudes and your belief systems are shaped when it comes to money you see how your parents move.
45:12
You either see them struggling or even, if they're struggling, like well, what is their attitude towards money? Right, cause, if you could be like cause we all had to struggle again, you know. But it's just like, okay, how do you bounce back? And that is what you pick up on. And so I just want to share a few things and then know, obviously you guys could get the ebook, it's free, but, um, but I think just sharing like the first few kind of lessons to me are like really important and and I feel like even the lessons were applicable to also adults. If you remember nachi, it's been a while since you saw it and I shared it with you again. I don't know if you prepared for this episode, wow, but in any case, oh, my goodness. The first one is what we've spent most of the time talking, which is developing positive money attitudes. Right, it's like again, when you think about, your thoughts are powerful and they create your reality, point blank.
46:26
So if you think money is something that is hard to come by. Well, guess what it will be Like. I said every warning, among other things that I say, that I'm grateful for. I also say thank you for the abundance that comes to me freely and easily because I don't work like a donkey, thank you, and I'm like thank you, thank you, creator.
46:46
You always take care of me. So so when you think about like, you start your day feeling shitty, the rest of your day is going to be shitty. So the same applies to how you think about money and stuff, and so those are things to consider, and so the action there is. Investigate your children's attitude, or your niece and nephew's attitude towards money. How do they view it?
47:12
I remember doing these exercises with the kids kids like um, what do you think money is? How do you feel about it? You know, it's funny because it comes out when we play monopoly.
47:23
My nephew's like we're playing monopoly and he's like really like money yeah, he's giving his money to everybody, which is a great thing, but when I play monopoly, I'm I'm off to kill. So, yeah, well, you're gonna lose this one, but monopoly is not real life, because when you give, it comes back. That I wholeheartedly believe. But again, going back to lesson number one, developing positive money attitudes. And then I think this next lesson is super key, which is creating wealth from within, and when I say that, I'm referring to you being the source of your wealth. You're the most. You'll be the most happiest and the most fruitful when you follow your passion and purpose in life. And we talked about this a few episodes ago, about what it means to live a life of joy and that is aligned with what is your purpose in life and you being in alignment always. That's it, and children really need to learn this early on about. That comes from facilitate an environment where they get to explore their you know, their, their inclinations right, like what their interests are Exactly.
48:40
I think about my husband and he's creative, he's an artist, and the fact that his mom was so influential in his life and really creating the space for him to be the artist. He has done work on canvas. He also does digital work. He's done NFTs. He always taps into his creative side, but that came from a place where he was allowed to do that as a kid. I mean, he's figured out okay, here's how I can make money throughout life and tap into my creative side.
49:28
But that's a huge deal and I think, and it's not nothing to really. This is why I had it as lesson number two, because it really is important to encourage your children to explore, but you need to be that supportive space to allow them to explore, so, um, and also be a part of that brainstorming with them too, right, you know, don't let them do it all on their own, like, help them, help them figure it out, do things with them, um yeah, and explore their desires and passions. And then I'll leave it with this one number three, which is embrace limitless opportunities to receive money. So this is shifting, and maybe even the parent's mindset, but the child's mindset, of the idea of that you can only earn money from a salary, right, I'm like, nah, we know Gen Xers, millennials, gen Z you cannot rely on just getting a salary because your cup, your company, will drop you like a hot potato, if you if it doesn't serve them.
50:39
Listen to our episode about how to thrive in corporate America. Listen to our episode about how to thrive in corporate America. They don't care about you. There's that. So you need to expose children and yourself, if you've not done this to different forms of different income streams and different income ideas. And there's rental from real estate. There is investments in the stock market, there is high yield, high yielding savings funds. I mean there are a number of other things, but again it's about exploration and it really is a good activity to do as a unit, as a family. I think about I'm just going to throw this out there. We've moved and now we're renting our place, and so it's a new development. It's a new construction and the owner, as part of a warranty with the builder, she had to come in after the first three months of buying the place. So at this point we're already living here and she came to do a walkthrough to check all the stuff that they've done and if there's anything outstanding that the builders still have to work on. She brought her daughter with her. This is, this is. This is what she's doing, what she's showing her daughter. This is part of their generational wealth. This is part of like showing your child here's another way we could be earning money. That's what you should be doing. So don't just assume like, oh, uh, my kid won't understand. I don't, I should just shield them from this. No, it's also good that they learn these things like okay, this is.
52:15 - Nachi (Host)
Oh, this is what she, okay, got it yeah, so like I've sat down with my kids and and, yeah, looked at, okay, these are our expenses and this is what I'm paying. And look, this is our you know my investment accounts. You know this is how much I'm putting in my investment account. So I've sat down with them and I know that's not something that people typically want to do with their kids because, again, it's just like, well, they don't need to know all that, right?
52:41
And it's a balance right, it's not like you're doing it with them every, you know every time, but it's like hey, I just want to kind of show you something you know like it use it as a a teaching moment right, don't use this as a.
52:56 - Damaris (Host)
You see how much you cost me. Like, no, like, obviously not. This is not to make your kid feel bad in any manner. If you're not in a good space and you're feeling depressed about your bank account, do not show your child. Please don't misunderstand what my sister is communicating. You see, this negative account is because of your life. You're so expensive. No, but those are just the top three. I actually have 10 and I'm excited to share this with you guys. So, yeah, now I will um provide the links for how you guys can access the ebook, but it's, you know, again, it's 10 lessons about how to to have your child thinking about wealth in a positive way and in a way that will be a part of how they live their lives and how it'll affect them as adults, and the best way possible. So, all that being said, there's a lot that we covered today. Anything else you want to close out with?
54:02
I feel like you know there's a lot to a lot of food for thought, and we have we shared some good resources that we'll include in the show notes, of course and on the site, but I want folks to feel good, I want you to reframe how you think about money and I want you to start from a place of gratitude think about money and I want you to start from a place of gratitude.
54:28 - Nachi (Host)
Yeah, and you know, I just kind of going back to um, when it comes to children, it's never too young to teach them, uh, about money, and it could just be really small, you know.
54:38
I know a lot of people don't think about allowances, but that that is an option so that they can learn how to manage their money from an early, from an early age, and which I think is very important, because you don't want to wait till they're in college and they get slammed with all these credit card opportunities Credit card Let me go spend some money that I don't have and they get slammed with all these credit card opportunities Like ooh, credit card yeah let me go spend some money that I don't have.
55:29 - Damaris (Host)
You definitely don't want to do that.
55:31 - Nachi (Host)
So yeah, get the e-book. I think you'll get some great tips from.
55:36 - Damaris (Host)
There.
55:38
And so that you can start having those conversations with your children and even adopt some of those, those tips for yourself, if you are not in a place where you've had, where you need to start changing your mindset about, about money and developing a better and healthier relationship with it yeah, and also, if you want to understand just high level, some investment stuff because I know that investing in the markets can be a little overwhelming there are some good neutral resources that you can go to check out nerd wallet, go to investopedia to understand terminology, understand the different types of retirement vehicles or plans and just different ways that you can invest, even if it's not a retirement but you want to just, you know, start small in the stock market. There's multiple ways. Those are good resources to start with, and they are truly meant for the consumer and trying to educate. So I definitely encourage people to go to those websites and we'll include that as well.
56:52
Thank you so much for listening guys and for being a part of our community, and I really do hope that there was information that we shared today that you feel you could use to help with or, you know, enhance your, your financial situation, because we all should be living a life of luxury and it is all attainable. So, um, and I wish that for all of us always, there's a lot of noise out there, but our message is consistent Stop getting distracted by the smoke and mirrors, tune out the noise and focus on your divine purpose in life. Vibrate higher, to elevate your frequency, and always. Thank you for listening. So, that said, don't forget to subscribe to our channel and follow us on instagram, tiktok and twitter at. I'm not yelling underscore and we look forward to talking next time.